Tears Gator Tears

[Ispyin]

So at the risk of ****ing off @RVACane and joining the band, I wanted to point out that maybe we should have a little more sympathy for our swampy brothers to the north. Think of it this way:

uf is basically a pimple-faced 13-year-old boy with thick glasses and a left leg slightly longer than the right. Picture him getting dropped off at school by his mom, who, if we're being honest, is showing just a little too much t*tty. So all the other 13-year-old boys are already checking out his mom's rack which explains why they all see him fall, because of the longer leg, getting out of the car. They also all see his hardcover, first edition copy of "How to Get Girls to Like You in 19 Easy Steps" come flying out of his backpack. But whatever, our boy's tough so he picks up his things, waves to his mom, and enters the school.
As he's putting his stuff in his locker, he introduces himself to his neighbor. "Hi! I'm Billy, wanna be friends?" he asks in his overly nasal voice. His neighbor exclaims, "Hi, I'm Mario!" and promptly stuffs our boy in his own locker where his cries for help go unheeded for quite some time. The sad thing here is that Mario actually alerts several people to the fact he's stuffed young Billy in his locker. Despite this, nobody opens that locker for three hours. At this point, somebody brushes against the locker, accidentally releasing young Billy who tumbles out onto his face resulting in an impressive nosebleed. This, unfortunately, is witnessed by slightly more than half of the varsity cheerleaders, most of the football team, and Mrs. Jenkins who, Billy will later learn, is by far the hottest teacher at this school.

In an effort to escape the resulting laughter, Billy runs blindly down the hall, trailing blood on the floor. In a stroke of good luck, our boy blunders into the bathroom, which is blessedly unoccupied. After cleaning his face and shirt of the copious amounts of blood he's lost through his nose, and while contemplating his fate at this new school, he hears a noise. While he's terrified to confront anyone at this point, he finds himself turning to face the person who has just entered the bathroom. Gathering his courage and telling himself it's better to face his fears than to run from them, he introduces himself.
"Hi, I'm Billy." The newcomer responds, "oh, hello, I'm Mike. I guess you're new here, I am too. Maybe we could be friends?"

And Billy's world expands, brightens. Suddenly, he can see a path forward out of this terrible situation. If he can make one friend, he can make more. He can BE more. The universe has thrown him a lifeline, and he's sure as **** going to grab hold of it. As he opens his mouth to ask what grade his new friend is in, he's confronted by his new situation. His new situation can best be described as face down *** up in a toilet. As the water swirls around his head, he realizes that his new friend has upended him into a toilet and is now vigorously flushing said toilet. A second realization occurs to him: maybe his friend, while undoubtedly new, isn't actually a friend.

It's at this point that Billy wonders if his life might have been better had his mother not chosen to follow her boyfriend (who, it should be noted, refers to her as "sweet-****") to Gainsville Florida. He wonders if maybe he's made a mistake by leaving the comforting embraces of the bayou. Though he does not know it yet, it's far too late for regrets, he is truly in trouble. Real trouble. He will soon realize that nothing he's know before could have prepared him for the living **** of Gainsville, and the certain knowledge that as bad as the place is, he's not even worthy of it. Not even close.

The point is, maybe have a little sympathy for them, they're f*cking pathetic.

Reading that wuz harddddddd

 

[RVACane]

Oh look… Friday Night Bites is back and suckier than ever!

 

[TRick72]

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WOW this staff hasn’t played a game and there’s already Slurpers pulling out the old Lispy excuse that it’s the fans fault they can’t land any recruits. This is going to be a glorious 4 years

 

[RVACane]

Looks like the first promo for their camp & cookout event is out.

 

[kryptonite]

Slayer, welcome! Right to the point in true @King Slayer fashion.

If I knew specifically I wouldn’t answer that on here as they visit this thread. That said, I thought he was a troll - not sure from where - but according to @kryptonite , he’s a legit gator fan he knows - unless @kryptonite was kidding about knowing him so I’ll leave it to him to respond?

I thought “16-17 Little Caesar’s restaurants” would tip you guys off. No idea who he is, but like you, if I did I wouldn’t say it on here.

 

[RVACane]

I thought “16-17 Little Caesar’s restaurants” would tip you guys off. No idea who he is, but like you, if I did I wouldn’t say it on here.

I thought that was a joke but you seemed so serious. Lol

 

[TheOriginalCane]

Looks like the first promo for their camp & cookout event is out.

View attachment 198587

I am trying to lose some weight, so I immediately signed up as high school assistant coach...

 

[supacane]

They asked about Baxter. He made a post on twitter and I swore the location said Guatemala.

 

[kryptonite]

I thought that was a joke but you seemed so serious. Lol

My goal is for you to know I’m joking, but to have to think about it a minute. And then only be like 90% sure it’s a joke.

 

[TheOriginalCane]

I'm gonna keep it

@Dwinstitles said something in his last video that was very true. These guys are Gaytor fans, I understand them wanting to be optimistic, believe in their team, etc. Doesn't mean they should be building myths about Mario and every other rival and rival coach just to make themselves feel better, but whatever.

The thing that is going to be incredibly painful for these Gaytors is SELF-criticism. Any Gaytor (or Cane) can say "Prison Mike Norvell sucks", and it doesn't cost us an ounce of pride or cause us any pain (PLUS IT'S TRUE!).

But it's going to take a good long while for Gaytor fans to wake up to the fact that they have a G5 Staph. That the very thing they DID NOT WANT with Scott Frost ("but but but he'll bring his whole UCF staff") has happened with Slingblade Billy.

You had a few Gaytor naysayers early (December-January), but they were shouted down. Now that they are bumping their old comments, they are looking like prophets. Still not well-embraced by the Gaytor faithful, but harder to criticize.

Couple pages ago, some Gaytor summed it up nicely. If Miami and USC and Oregon hire new coaches who are FRESH OFF OF RECRUITING IN POWER FIVE CIRCLES, you can hit the ground running and pull kids you've been building relationships with for years.

BUT.

If you hire G5 Sunbelt Billy...who was previously the King Of Hidden 2-Star Gems...then you will need to turbocharge the recruiting ops at the University of Flagship by EITHER hiring a stone-cold team of 10 recruiting assassins who can deliver the finest blue-chips in the land for you to close on...OR...you pull a higher-key Louisville (or lower-key aTm) and start dropping heavy bags. EITHER WAY can work.

But the ONE THING THAT YOU CANNOT DO IS:

Hire G5 Sunbelt Billy...AND...
Hire a G5 Staph...AND...
NOT bring in guys with a RECENT track record of P5 recruiting...AND...
Cheap out on every NIL opportunity, acting like you are frugal and refusing to "overpay"...

Because THAT 4-piece combo platter is a RECIPE FOR DISASTER...that right there is mayo-based mac-and-cheese...that right there is causing explosive Gaytor recruiting diarrhea...

You get what you pay for...if you guy a G5 staph...if you don't pay for recruiters...if you don't pay for recruits in the NIL era...

...Ya fvcked.

Not "fvccin fvccin".

YA FVCKED.

 

[CreativeCane]

This is just from the last few @RVACane posts since 11pm. Man mega bingo is difficult! 14 squares and still no Bingo.

 

[Number1CanesFan]

It's kinda crazy how reasonable some of them can sound and then they blurt out some nonsense like "florida is an easier sell than miami" lol

They have their one calling card they've played a
million times. "But we play in the SEC." So does Kentucky, Vandy, Mizzou, Arkansas, MIss State, Tennessee, and S Carolina.

 

[The U is back to work]

So reading this is the Chick Fil A guy now saying Bryant to UF? Or just outside of Bryant UF expects flurry of additional commits end of July.

 

[CreativeCane]

So reading this is the Chick Fil A guy now saying Bryant to UF? Or just outside of Bryant UF expects flurry of additional commits end of July.

Don’t know but guy has zero credibility left.

 

[canenok]

That’s was simply beautiful.

If we don’t get him, then let them pay.
Lakeland kid, 3rd in country. ( 1 in the state )
They (UF), will pay anything to keep him.
Let them pay.

Yep, make them Break the Bank on a Lakeland kid who should’ve been a layup for them. Especially with Raymond. I say we (purposely) keep upping the auction bid knowing they’re so desperate for a win they’ll bankrupt the collective and sabotage the rest of their class.

 

[TheOriginalCane]

This is just from the last few @RVACane posts since 11pm. Man mega bingo is difficult! 14 squares and still no Bingo.

View attachment 198595

 

[AUcane]

That’s was simply beautiful.

If we don’t get him, then let them pay.
Lakeland kid, 3rd in country. ( 1 in the state )
They (UF), will pay anything to keep him.
Let them pay.

The beauty of it is that cormani would commit to us and even take less money to do so.

 

[HTXCane]

They finally are realizing that their staff is straight doo do. The problem is that they are paying them as if they were P5 rockstars. Position coaches are making $1million and Billy is getting his friends rich at UF’s expense. How is Corey not the highest paid coach of that group.

 

[kryptonite]

I'm gonna keep it

@Dwinstitles said something in his last video that was very true. These guys are Gaytor fans, I understand them wanting to be optimistic, believe in their team, etc. Doesn't mean they should be building myths about Mario and every other rival and rival coach just to make themselves feel better, but whatever.

The thing that is going to be incredibly painful for these Gaytors is SELF-criticism. Any Gaytor (or Cane) can say "Prison Mike Norvell sucks", and it doesn't cost us an ounce of pride or cause us any pain (PLUS IT'S TRUE!).

But it's going to take a good long while for Gaytor fans to wake up to the fact that they have a G5 Staph. That the very thing they DID NOT WANT with Scott Frost ("but but but he'll bring his whole UCF staff") has happened with Slingblade Billy.

You had a few Gaytor naysayers early (December-January), but they were shouted down. Now that they are bumping their old comments, they are looking like prophets. Still not well-embraced by the Gaytor faithful, but harder to criticize.

Couple pages ago, some Gaytor summed it up nicely. If Miami and USC and Oregon hire new coaches who are FRESH OFF OF RECRUITING IN POWER FIVE CIRCLES, you can hit the ground running and pull kids you've been building relationships with for years.

BUT.

If you hire G5 Sunbelt Billy...who was previously the King Of Hidden 2-Star Gems...then you will need to turbocharge the recruiting ops at the University of Flagship by EITHER hiring a stone-cold team of 10 recruiting assassins who can deliver the finest blue-chips in the land for you to close on...OR...you pull a higher-key Louisville (or lower-key aTm) and start dropping heavy bags. EITHER WAY can work.

But the ONE THING THAT YOU CANNOT DO IS:

Hire G5 Sunbelt Billy...AND...
Hire a G5 Staph...AND...
NOT bring in guys with a RECENT track record of P5 recruiting...AND...
Cheap out on every NIL opportunity, acting like you are frugal and refusing to "overpay"...

Because THAT 4-piece combo platter is a RECIPE FOR DISASTER...that right there is mayo-based mac-and-cheese...that right there is causing explosive Gaytor recruiting diarrhea...

You get what you pay for...if you guy a G5 staph...if you don't pay for recruiters...if you don't pay for recruits in the NIL era...

...Ya fvcked.

Not "fvccin fvccin".

YA FVCKED.

They haven’t recruited in years, what they get is 100% about the school’s name.

 

[kryptonite]

They have their one calling card they've played a
million times. "But we play in the SEC." So does Kentucky, Vandy, Mizzou, Arkansas, MIss State, Tennessee, and S Carolina.

It it’s SEC football, who doesn’t want that?