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Thoughts From the Bench Press: Cal

@JHallCanes

I’m going with Expressions from the Bo[]_[]rbon Room…

This is a Battle of Buffalo Trace...

Cal is Benchmark… usually a bottom shelf selection, but when Ott gets rolling this team has the ability to hit you like their Full Proof at a bold 125. Ott and 2 healthy WRs make for a bold flavor with the potential for a long finish…

Our Canes right now are a Pappy 20 year… the program has been barreled up a solid 20 years, with the wins coming later… the tasting notes tell the tale: Intense and tantalizing. Smooth with a citrus zest note. The finish is long and elegant.

Conclusion: Savor this…We fuccin 🥃
 
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Angry Ibis said:
@JHallCanes

I’m going with Expressions from the Bo[]_[]rbon Room…

This is a Battle of Buffalo Trace...

Cal is Benchmark… usually a bottom shelf selection, but when Ott gets rolling this team has the ability to hit you like their Full Proof at a bold 125. Ott and 2 health WRs make for a bold flavor with the potential for a long finish…

Our Canes right now are a Pappy 20 year… the program has been barreled up a solid 20 years, with the wins coming later… the tasting notes tell the tale: Intense and tantalizing. Smooth with a citrus zest note. The finish is long and elegant.

Conclusion: Savor this…We fuccin 🥃
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This is the post of a gentleman and a scholar

It’s beautiful. Its accurate. It’s entertaining. It educates.

🤌🏼
 
Felonious Monk said:
I really should have waited until 10:00 PM tomorrow to read this so I could make sure I'd be up for at least 4 hours.
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IYjiXRV622OBO (1).gif
 
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Angry Ibis said:
@JHallCanes

I’m going with Expressions from the Bo[]_[]rbon Room…

This is a Battle of Buffalo Trace...

Cal is Benchmark… usually a bottom shelf selection, but when Ott gets rolling this team has the ability to hit you like their Full Proof at a bold 125. Ott and 2 health WRs make for a bold flavor with the potential for a long finish…

Our Canes right now are a Pappy 20 year… the program has been barreled up a solid 20 years, with the wins coming later… the tasting notes tell the tale: Intense and tantalizing. Smooth with a citrus zest note. The finish is long and elegant.

Conclusion: Savor this…We fuccin 🥃
Click to expand...
Just had Old Fashions with pops

Yes

We roll
 
JHallCanes said:
Before we dive in this week I just wanted to say a thank you to the homies here that reached out as we have been dealing with the fallout from Helene. The Carolinas took a beating and I know many here are from Florida and this is a daily occurrence for yall

I know we talk **** and bust balls here but it’s still just a game and I hope everyone here gets to watch the game in peace with their families and friends and if you’re traveling to Cali for the game I hope you are safe…and

And…

The ****…

Wait…

JUST PLAYING CAL THIS WEEK IS TURNING ME SOFT. FUCCCCKKKKKKK THISSSSSSSS

View attachment 305834

Ahhhhhhhhhhh….thats more like it

Let’s try this **** again….

Mother****ers and ****ettes (yes California they are two different things) load another set of 45s on the bar, toss a splash of DMAA in your protein shakes, and identify your gender to the nearest stripper because it’s ****** BENCH DAY


View attachment 305835

Last week we avoided absolute disaster by surviving about 200 different factors that normally derail a Miami season….most notably the referees

Those minutes felt like hours. The trauma was inevitable. Somehow they called it a TD on the field and we all knew what was coming

Last time my ******** was that puckered up was ironically at a California strip club when I noticed the baseball sized Adams Apple below her chin

But then it happened

We got the right call. Finally.

View attachment 305838

Now a good sized part of our fanbase has lamented how poorly we played that game

That’s fine

What I took from it was this really is our season of destiny

Florida sucks. FSU sucks. Notre Dame lost to Northern Illinois. The refs are doing the right things…

This is it Canes fans. It’s all there in front of us.

This is a new year

View attachment 305840

Next stop on our playoff push is a newcomer to the ACC: Cal. Cal in the ACC…k

(Fortunately for all my TRT abusers there’s no shortage of needles this week just check the sidewalk around the stadium)

Anyway. Here’s some fun facts about Cal:

View attachment 305844

But here’s some stuff to know:

State Slogan: “We’ve got more genders than Baskin Robbins has flavors”

State Landmarks: The Hollywood Sign, the Redwood Forest, and the largest pile of human ***** on a sidewalk in the world

State Bird: The governor because he identifies as a woodpecker

State Flag: well….you know

State Tree: the one with the hippy hugging it

View attachment 305846

Even though this is a road game for our beloved Hurricanes, I expect the crowd to be about as hostile as the Border Patrol when they find out the people will be voting Democrat

The Cal crowd will feature more trannies than Auto Trader

Here’s why we stroll into Cali and hit them harder than HIV in the 80s:

Cam: We can over analyze our season all day (speaking of overanalyze….california amirite?) but much like a 15 year old that just got high speed internet, everything revolves around his right arm. In his worst performance as a Hurricane all he did was throw for 4 TDs, 400+ yards, and engineer the game winning drive. He is him.

Barrow: Right now he is the linchpin of our DT spot. We pretty much knew this coming into the season but unlike those tofu and kale diet *****, Barrow has been super solid. He’s gonna be as active in the A gap as John Holmes before he lost all that weight

Malik/Popo: I lumped them together because it’s California and that’s what they do. We know the starters but we’ve been waiting for young guys to emerge and these two are the next ones. Wait till Cal finds out his nickname is Popo…they will definitely be running in fear from him

Arroyo: He is everything he has been billed up to be. He’s more of a wide receiver than a tight end…and honestly…there’s so many Cali jokes in that sentence I’ll let yall go ahead. But seriously Cali hates a tight end so I expect him to feast. Wow I’m whoozy


Verdict: People have claimed that the trip out west in gonna be a problem. That’s not what I’m personally worried about. It’s the air quality and elevation we need to adapt to

View attachment 305847
View attachment 305848

Once Cam gets acclimated…we roll

Good guys 31
Bad guys 17

View attachment 305850

(In a hetero way)
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Brad Pitt Lol GIF by Focus Features


Glad you’re safe bro. I went and bought and new generator so I could have my WiFi/TV going for the game last weekend. I obviously had the main fridge and beer fridge hooked up too so I could cook steaks and drink IPA’s. Merica.

I think I’m heading to help out in NC on Sunday. I can't stand seeing people struggle. I just have to watch the game 1st because I’m also selfish.
 
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JennStrawley’sBabyDaddy said:
Brad Pitt Lol GIF by Focus Features


Glad you’re safe bro. I went and bought and new generator so I could have my WiFi/TV going for the game last weekend. I obviously had the main fridge and beer fridge hooked up too so I could cook steaks and drink IPA’s. Merica.

I think I’m heading to help out in NC on Sunday. I can't stand seeing people struggle. I just have to watch the game 1st because I’m also selfish.
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Bless you sir. We’ve been gathering a ton of **** up here at some of the local supplement shops and gyms. People really showed out. I think sometimes we don’t know where to start to help but if you give a spot, people definitely step up

I should be back in plenty of time for the game which is ironic it being so late it gives me plenty of time to help out and then come back and watch
 
JHallCanes said:
Bless you sir. We’ve been gathering a ton of **** up here at some of the local supplement shops and gyms. People really showed out. I think sometimes we don’t know where to start to help but if you give a spot, people definitely step up

I should be back in plenty of time for the game which is ironic it being so late it gives me plenty of time to help out and then come back and watch
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You’re right bro. People are freaking out about the divide in this country right now (with reason). Obviously as a Canes fan I’m obnoxiously optimistic. Most people will help when others are in need. Sometimes we’re stupid and focus on the wrong things. I’ve seen a lot of good people step up since last Friday though.

Be safe bro. If you see a tall idiot with a Miami tattoo on the right leg, that’s me.
 
JennStrawley’sBabyDaddy said:
You’re right bro. People are freaking out about the divide in this country right now (with reason). Obviously as a Canes fan I’m obnoxiously optimistic. Most people will help when others are in need. Sometimes we’re stupid and focus on the wrong things. I’ve seen a lot of good people step up since last Friday though.

Be safe bro. If you see a tall idiot with a Miami tattoo on the right leg, that’s me.
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Yeah I can’t take any credit it was a spearheaded by some really badass local people here and I’m just gonna try and figure out what I can do

You’re 100% correct
 
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CaneLife93 said:
I'm thinking we score 38 points, no idea how the D (ppppause) performs
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I hope we get enough penetration. I'm not satisfied with the last few outings. We got in there a bit but hardly hit the spot. We need faster, more consistent, deeper penetration that where Cal gets up walking funny. The DTs really need to jam em up. Nothing leaks out!
 
This really reminds me of when Miami would play on the west coast or in the mountains almost every year. They weren't fazed then and I don't think a Cam Ward led team will be now. Canes by 10, looking for a plain workmanlike win here. I want to say 27-17.
 
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