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- Nov 3, 2011
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- 46,994
Before we dive in this week I just wanted to say a thank you to the homies here that reached out as we have been dealing with the fallout from Helene. The Carolinas took a beating and I know many here are from Florida and this is a daily occurrence for yall
I know we talk **** and bust balls here but it’s still just a game and I hope everyone here gets to watch the game in peace with their families and friends and if you’re traveling to Cali for the game I hope you are safe…and
And…
The ****…
Wait…
JUST PLAYING CAL THIS WEEK IS TURNING ME SOFT. FUCCCCKKKKKKK THISSSSSSSS
Ahhhhhhhhhhh….thats more like it
Let’s try this **** again….
Mother****ers and ****ettes (yes California they are two different things) load another set of 45s on the bar, toss a splash of DMAA in your protein shakes, and identify your gender to the nearest stripper because it’s ****** BENCH DAY
Last week we avoided absolute disaster by surviving about 200 different factors that normally derail a Miami season….most notably the referees
Those minutes felt like hours. The trauma was inevitable. Somehow they called it a TD on the field and we all knew what was coming
Last time my ******** was that puckered up was ironically at a California strip club when I noticed the baseball sized Adams Apple below her chin
But then it happened
We got the right call. Finally.
Now a good sized part of our fanbase has lamented how poorly we played that game
That’s fine
What I took from it was this really is our season of destiny
Florida sucks. FSU sucks. Notre Dame lost to Northern Illinois. The refs are doing the right things…
This is it Canes fans. It’s all there in front of us.
This is a new year
Next stop on our playoff push is a newcomer to the ACC: Cal. Cal in the ACC…k
(Fortunately for all my TRT abusers there’s no shortage of needles this week just check the sidewalk around the stadium)
Anyway. Here’s some fun facts about Cal:
But here’s some stuff to know:
State Slogan: “We’ve got more genders than Baskin Robbins has flavors”
State Landmarks: The Hollywood Sign, the Redwood Forest, and the largest pile of human ***** on a sidewalk in the world
State Bird: The governor because he identifies as a woodpecker
State Flag: well….you know
State Tree: the one with the hippy hugging it
Even though this is a road game for our beloved Hurricanes, I expect the crowd to be about as hostile as the Border Patrol when they find out the people will be voting Democrat
The Cal crowd will feature more trannies than Auto Trader
Here’s why we stroll into Cali and hit them harder than HIV in the 80s:
Cam: We can over analyze our season all day (speaking of overanalyze….california amirite?) but much like a 15 year old that just got high speed internet, everything revolves around his right arm. In his worst performance as a Hurricane all he did was throw for 4 TDs, 400+ yards, and engineer the game winning drive. He is him.
Barrow: Right now he is the linchpin of our DT spot. We pretty much knew this coming into the season but unlike those tofu and kale diet *****, Barrow has been super solid. He’s gonna be as active in the A gap as John Holmes before he lost all that weight
Malik/Popo: I lumped them together because it’s California and that’s what they do. We know the starters but we’ve been waiting for young guys to emerge and these two are the next ones. Wait till Cal finds out his nickname is Popo…they will definitely be running in fear from him
Arroyo: He is everything he has been billed up to be. He’s more of a wide receiver than a tight end…and honestly…there’s so many Cali jokes in that sentence I’ll let yall go ahead. But seriously Cali hates a tight end so I expect him to feast. Wow I’m whoozy
Verdict: People have claimed that the trip out west in gonna be a problem. That’s not what I’m personally worried about. It’s the air quality and elevation we need to adapt to
Once Cam gets acclimated…we roll
Good guys 31
Bad guys 17
(In a hetero way)
I know we talk **** and bust balls here but it’s still just a game and I hope everyone here gets to watch the game in peace with their families and friends and if you’re traveling to Cali for the game I hope you are safe…and
And…
The ****…
Wait…
JUST PLAYING CAL THIS WEEK IS TURNING ME SOFT. FUCCCCKKKKKKK THISSSSSSSS
Ahhhhhhhhhhh….thats more like it
Let’s try this **** again….
Mother****ers and ****ettes (yes California they are two different things) load another set of 45s on the bar, toss a splash of DMAA in your protein shakes, and identify your gender to the nearest stripper because it’s ****** BENCH DAY
Last week we avoided absolute disaster by surviving about 200 different factors that normally derail a Miami season….most notably the referees
Those minutes felt like hours. The trauma was inevitable. Somehow they called it a TD on the field and we all knew what was coming
Last time my ******** was that puckered up was ironically at a California strip club when I noticed the baseball sized Adams Apple below her chin
But then it happened
We got the right call. Finally.
Now a good sized part of our fanbase has lamented how poorly we played that game
That’s fine
What I took from it was this really is our season of destiny
Florida sucks. FSU sucks. Notre Dame lost to Northern Illinois. The refs are doing the right things…
This is it Canes fans. It’s all there in front of us.
This is a new year
Next stop on our playoff push is a newcomer to the ACC: Cal. Cal in the ACC…k
(Fortunately for all my TRT abusers there’s no shortage of needles this week just check the sidewalk around the stadium)
Anyway. Here’s some fun facts about Cal:
But here’s some stuff to know:
State Slogan: “We’ve got more genders than Baskin Robbins has flavors”
State Landmarks: The Hollywood Sign, the Redwood Forest, and the largest pile of human ***** on a sidewalk in the world
State Bird: The governor because he identifies as a woodpecker
State Flag: well….you know
State Tree: the one with the hippy hugging it
Even though this is a road game for our beloved Hurricanes, I expect the crowd to be about as hostile as the Border Patrol when they find out the people will be voting Democrat
The Cal crowd will feature more trannies than Auto Trader
Here’s why we stroll into Cali and hit them harder than HIV in the 80s:
Cam: We can over analyze our season all day (speaking of overanalyze….california amirite?) but much like a 15 year old that just got high speed internet, everything revolves around his right arm. In his worst performance as a Hurricane all he did was throw for 4 TDs, 400+ yards, and engineer the game winning drive. He is him.
Barrow: Right now he is the linchpin of our DT spot. We pretty much knew this coming into the season but unlike those tofu and kale diet *****, Barrow has been super solid. He’s gonna be as active in the A gap as John Holmes before he lost all that weight
Malik/Popo: I lumped them together because it’s California and that’s what they do. We know the starters but we’ve been waiting for young guys to emerge and these two are the next ones. Wait till Cal finds out his nickname is Popo…they will definitely be running in fear from him
Arroyo: He is everything he has been billed up to be. He’s more of a wide receiver than a tight end…and honestly…there’s so many Cali jokes in that sentence I’ll let yall go ahead. But seriously Cali hates a tight end so I expect him to feast. Wow I’m whoozy
Verdict: People have claimed that the trip out west in gonna be a problem. That’s not what I’m personally worried about. It’s the air quality and elevation we need to adapt to
Once Cam gets acclimated…we roll
Good guys 31
Bad guys 17
(In a hetero way)
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