Inspired by
@GojiraCane
'And I heard, as it were, the noise of thunder,
One of the G5 saying,
'Come and see.' and I saw, and behold a big-time TV contract.'
There's two media giants goin' 'round takin' names
And they decide who gets killed and who gets paid.
Everybody won't be treated all the same.
There'll be a golden parachute for these clowns,
When the B1G comes around.
The hairs on your arm will stand up
At the money for each game and cash disbursed.
Will you partake of that fat offered purse.
Or disappear into the G5's ground?
When the B1G comes around.
… Hear the pundits, hear the hustlers
One hundred million dollars swingin'
Conferences are marchin' to the big cash cow.
Voices callin', voices cryin'
Fans are born and fans are dyin'
It's PAC-12 and ACC's kingdom come.
And the poison lies in the contracts,
The lawyers are all practicing their tricks.
The poison lies in the contracts,
It's hard for teams to win against these pricks.
Till playoff expansion, no shalam, no shalom,
Then the ACC ADs will call their teams' new home.
Tony Petitti will sit down at his throne
And at his feet the AD's cast their golden crowns,
When the B1G comes around.
Whatever teams don't draw let them be broke still,
Whatever teams win games let them win more still,
Whatever teams are paid let them be paid still.
Listen to the words long written down
When the B1G comes around.
… Hear the pundits, hear the hustlers
One hundred million dollars swingin'
Conferences are marchin' to the big cash cow.
Voices callin', voices cryin'
Fans are born and fans are dyin'
It's PAC-12 and ACC's kingdom come.
And the poison lies in the contracts,
The lawyers are all practicing their tricks.
The poison lies in the contracts,
It's hard for teams to win against these pricks.
With tens of millions in new revenue to be found,
When the B1G comes around.
… 'And I heard a voice in the midst of the network beasts
And I looked, and behold a long-term television Grant of Rights,
And the name that brought the Grant of Rights was ACC, and **** followed with it.'