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Very sad news

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Hate hearing this… for anyone. We often bicker on here about things but at the end of the day we don’t know what someone in the other side of that keyboard is going through.

🙏 praying for him and his family
 
Horrible. RIP. Hopefully his family can gain a modicum of peace too.

Such a tough thing and it's only compounded by and made more difficult to detect by how we live now- largely with our heads in our phones. If you look at Phil's Twitter it essentially looks completely normal all the way through the end.

Sometimes (maybe even often) there's nothing you can do but perhaps we need to be better listeners in our reduced actual face to face or verbalized interactions with our friends and family?

I'm personally now just reflecting upon some interactions I had with a friend in the last few weeks. I gaffed it off as the guy maybe just being emotional about some things after we had a few or 15 beers but now I'm definitely going to at least try to follow up just in case he actually was trying to reach out for more than just an ear.
 
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Zbrod95 said:
If anybody does have something they want to talk about. Please reach out. I recently found out that I’ve developed an anxiety disorder due to firefighting so I know how it feels like do deal with an ailment you can’t control. Please DM at any time.
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Thank you for this. I attempted suicide as a teenager and now I try to do what I can to just give someone a way to not feel so lost and alone. Sometimes that’s enough to just let them know they aren’t alone
 
Tad Footeball said:
Horrible. RIP. Hopefully his family can gain a modicum of peace too.

Such a tough thing and it's only compounded by and made more difficult to detect by how we live now- largely with our heads in our phones. If you look at Phil's Twitter it essentially looks completely normal all the way through the end.

Sometimes (maybe even often) there's nothing you can do but perhaps we need to be better listeners in our reduced actual face to face or verbalized interactions with our friends and family?

I'm personally now just reflecting upon some interactions I had with a friend in the last few weeks. I gaffed it off as the guy maybe just being emotional about some things after we had a few or 15 beers but now I'm definitely going to at least try to follow up just in case he actually was trying to reach out for more than just an ear.
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Very much agree, we all have to strive to find the right balance between "hey, I'm here for you" and "actively reaching out to friends". Often, it is incredibly difficult for people who are struggling with issues to summon up the courage to ALSO take the first step in the conversation, as there are shame and despair aspects that make it very hard to open up, even to friends (and it seems like from his post, Phil felt this way).

Not to mention some of the legal and medical implications. While I was in law school, I took Mental Health Law (my girlfriend at the time had a mother who suffered from mental illness), and it was very eye-opening and, yes, even "depressing" to learn about how one's legal rights can be taken away in mental health situations (heck, look at what happened to Britney Spears, and she had access and resources that most of us can only imagine).

Years ago, on another board, I reached out to a fellow poster based on some comments that he made online, and we conversed a bit about certain issues. I have no idea whether I had any significant impact, but I hope that even the effort to reach out had a positive and calming influence during a time of adversity. I am happy to see this person still posts (now on this board), and it certainly seems like there has been positive progress made.

RIP, Phil. Sorry that I never had the chance to break bread with you or enjoy a Canes experience together, I hope you have found peace and your suffering is no more.
 
AtlAtty said:
Hard to read. I have a family member who attempted to take her own life by overdosing on pills. She literally changed her mind a few minutes later and called 911. She still ended up intubated for 10 days. She is also going thru a lot of counseling, and we honestly did not see the severity of her depression until it was almost too late.
Please take it seriously if you see anything at all with anyone you know. You never know when they are hitting the bottom and need you.
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💯I'm glad she is doing well fam. 🙏🏾
 
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Canegetright said:
Glad you're still with us bro. Blessings to you🙏🏾
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Thank you for this my man. I think back to what that kid was thinking and I really can’t put a finger on it other than he was just lost and alone with no hope

But I look at my life now and can’t even imagine missing out on all of the amazing things that have happened

Social media wasn’t prevalent when I was a teenager so it was more isolating when no one directly around you or in your family could help. Social gets this toxic reputation, and I understand that to a point, but it’s also life changing in a positive way if you can channel it properly
 
JHallCanes said:
Thank you for this my man. I think back to what that kid was thinking and I really can’t put a finger on it other than he was just lost and alone with no hope

But I look at my life now and can’t even imagine missing out on all of the amazing things that have happened

Social media wasn’t prevalent when I was a teenager so it was more isolating when no one directly around you or in your family could help. Social gets this toxic reputation, and I understand that to a point, but it’s also life changing in a positive way if you can channel it properly
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I had a friend who went through major depression, and tried to explain it to me. The best she could do was tell me imagine getting in your car, starting it up, hitting the gas, and realizing that there's no steering wheel and the brakes aren't working well. You can't get the car to go straight, and you can't stop it from continuing down the road. It's almost entirely out of your control. It really helped me to understand. I echo what @Zbrod95 said, please reach out if you are ever in a really dark place.
 
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Zbrod95 said:
If anybody does have something they want to talk about. Please reach out. I recently found out that I’ve developed an anxiety disorder due to firefighting so I know how it feels like do deal with an ailment you can’t control. Please DM at any time.
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Mad respect my friend. Pretending people battling with mental demons are weak is one thing that needs to die.
 
A friend of mine from the U took his own life several years ago. Like this guy, not many people, including myself, knew what he was going though until it was too late. I don’t have any words of wisdom, except maybe that I hope everybody is getting the help they need.

RIP.
 
Trescerocinco said:
Mad respect my friend. Pretending people battling with mental demons are weak is one thing that needs to die.
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It has nothing to do with being weak. I currently am assigned to one of the busiest stations in the county and 9/10 I’m on rescue and even before this assignment I was stationed at a extremely busy house. Busy houses also are 9/10 in bad neighborhoods so I’m being dispatched to heartbreaking calls. My ability to not let anxiety bother me in my life outside of the fire house is shot to the point where I was always mad and couldn’t sleep sometimes. I thought it was me just turning cold from the stuff I’ve seen but my girlfriend made me go to see somebody about it and here I am. Sometimes you just gotta admit something is wrong and deal with it.
 
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Zbrod95 said:
It has nothing to do with being weak. I currently am assigned to one of the busiest stations in the county and 9/10 I’m on rescue and even before this assignment I was stationed at a extremely busy house. Busy houses also are 9/10 in bad neighborhoods so I’m being dispatched to heartbreaking calls. My ability to not let anxiety bother me in my life outside of the fire house is shot to the point where I was always mad and couldn’t sleep sometimes. I thought it was me just turning cold from the stuff I’ve seen but my girlfriend made me go to see somebody about it and here I am. Sometimes you just gotta admit something is wrong and deal with it.
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Blessings to you, brother. I'm sure that can take a tole on anyone.
 
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