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Thoughts From the Bench Press: Iowa State

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JHallCanes said:
View attachment 315358

HO-HO-HO mutha****aaaasss and mutha****ettes! I hope yall enjoyed those extra helpings of Christmas cookies because you’re gonna need the extra carbs

It’s fuuuggggginnnnn BENCH DAYYYYY!!!!!

View attachment 315360

View attachment 315361

It’s been a long month to be a Canes fan. Up 21-0 against Syracuse and life was good…

And then…

View attachment 315362

We’ve spent the last month *****ing and moaning and saying the same things over and over and over again

It’s not wrong

But we are parking that to the side because it’s time to watch Cam Ward and this offense one last time

View attachment 315363

Before we get in to Iowa State let’s look back at some of the highlights from 2024 because there were a lot of them:

1. Florida

It was right about here when the entire fanbase held their breath

View attachment 315364

and right about here when all the lies became possible

View attachment 315365

2. Virginia Tech

View attachment 315366

3. Cal

About 2 AM when somehow he got this ball to Arroyo

View attachment 315369

The 2024 season was probably the biggest roller coaster of emotions I can recall

Every week we wanted to make life difficult but in the end we still had a shot to make the ACCCG and the Playoffs but alas…

Bryan Cranston Reaction GIF


“This game is meaningless”

I’ve read this from our so-called fans over and over again

There’s nothing “meaningless” about this game

1-11 in our last 12 bowl games

Left out of the playoff because we are not a top tier program in a conference that gets no respect

EVERY game is important especially when we go out of conference

So for all the people saying those words

View attachment 315370

So let’s ******* go

One more opponent on our schedule and it’s not Penn St, Notre Dame, OSU etc

It’s…Iowa State

View attachment 315371

View attachment 315372

Iowa State nestles itself in the metropolitan area of Ames, IA

The university acceptance rate is… 92%

92. ****. Percent.

View attachment 315373

The only thing you can really say about Iowa that’s cool is at least Kevin Costner got to have a catch with his dad

View attachment 315374

As far as the team goes, we know they have a good coach in Matt Campbell. He’s 10x the coach ours is so that’s a problem. They’ve got a solid QB and WR but it’s a bowl game and who knows who’s playing and who isn’t

So let’s try and guess who will be the difference in this one:

1. Cam

Miami Fans: “you changed my life”

Cam: “I’m literally just Cam Ward”

The single most important player I’ve personally ever seen here. Not only changed the game with his talent, but changed the offense with his leadership. He deserved a legit shot at the playoffs and the Heisman. I got to see Tiger Woods in his prime. Michael Jordan. Jenna Jameson. Now Cam.

2. Martinez. Thankfully we got past the point where our fans claimed he had no vision. Dude was RB1 by a country mile. Not sure what his plan is for next year but I would guess the pros and he’s gonna be tough to replace. Iowa is used to having its corn plowed by John Deere, now it’s Damien’s turn (no pause)

3. Dawson. He doesn’t get enough credit IMO. He took the worst offense in our history in 2022 and made it legit in 2023 despite the same cast of characters. In 2024 we gave him weapons and he orchestrated history. Steven Spielberg. Francis Ford Coppola. Alfred Hitchcock. Axel Braun. Great directors know what to do with great talent. He will be running auditions for 2025 and likely angling for a nice head coaching job himself

Beyond that…**** if I know

Verdict: Miami is the most one dimensional team in the entire country. Thankfully that one dimension is the best in the nation. Unfortunately the other dimension is one of the worst

Actual visual representation of our offense/defense:

View attachment 315378

Matt Campbell has gotta be hornier to face Guidry than an Iowa farm hand looking at a sheep with a bum leg

I expect our offense to be tuff and fizical and grind the game out squeaking by

Lets Ride GIF by Giphy QA


View attachment 315379
View attachment 315380
View attachment 315381

Good guys 27
Bad guys 24

View attachment 315382
Click to expand...
your best work yet.
 
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BigDikDaddyFromCincinnati said:
Didn't say he does. I'll bet you that if you gave Cam some truth serum, then asked him (after the game) if it was " irrelevant, boring, unexciting, silly, or mediocre," he would likely pick one. I'll stop there because honestly, I like you and your posts (no diddy). We can agree to disagree like grown ups can't we? I mean, I'm sure you can. I'm trying over here. I also don't have any truth serum.
Click to expand...
Yeah you should stop because that “truth serum” part is embarrassing as ****

I’m saying it’s not meaningless because the players and program are telling us that. It’s not my opinion

You’re saying it’s meaningless because you’re butthurt

Big difference
 
JHallCanes said:
Yeah you should stop because that “truth serum” part is embarrassing as ****

I’m saying it’s not meaningless because the players and program are telling us that. It’s not my opinion

You’re saying it’s meaningless because you’re butthurt

Big difference
Click to expand...
Big difference like getting hung up on the word meaningless when several other replacements have been offered multiple times?
Didn't say I wasn't butthurt, but to drive the point home, I'm not offended at your choice of term even the accurate descriptor would be extremely disappointed. You see the two are similar but not exactly the same. I'm not running out to buy my PoópTart Bowl commemorative T-shirt or coffee mug. Better question might be why are you so hung up on the word meaningless and turning it into an attack that I'm butthurt?

My original comment was pretty tame and I'm a little surprised at the attack I'm sensing.
 
Last edited:
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BigDikDaddyFromCincinnati said:
I edited it. What's your beef on this? You're coming after me pretty hard over one word, that I was actually trying to be playful with.
Click to expand...
Are you lost? Not sure if you’ve ever read one of these threads before but we talk **** here

Beef? It’s a message board dawg there’s no such thing as “beef”

You skipped over actual ****ies, Jenna Jameson references etc to write TOC length post about a word to begin with and you are wondering why I’m coming back at you? Cmon
 
JHallCanes said:
Are you lost? Not sure if you’ve ever read one of these threads before but we talk **** here

Beef? It’s a message board dawg there’s no such thing as “beef”
Click to expand...
Clearly I'm lost. Did my wife hack your account?

I'm in the vast minority of folks who aren't all that psyched to see us play in one of the undercard bowl games. If that makes me butthurt, guilty as charged. It doesn't make me an anti-Cane, anti-fan, Cane-hater, a bad guy, etc. And no, I'm not saying you called me those things, but some others have insinuated as much. It's an opinion.

And for the record, I love beef. It's probably my favorite food group. I made a prime rib on my smoker for Christmas that was dank AF. If you weren't so mean to me, I'd probably invite you over the nuext time I make one, but now you're telling me beef doesn't exist? F this. What is there to live for?
 
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great post. i think it all depends on how long the starters play for both teams. if we pull the draft guys out after a few plays or a quarter but ISU keeps their guys in, we likely lose. either way, 11 wins or not, i dont put any sort of significance into these non playoff bowls. theyre all a waste of time. this year, overall, was fun, however, ended poorly thanks to a historically poor defense. thank you cam for everything. stay healthy and go number 1 and put QB U back where it belongs.
JHallCanes said:
View attachment 315358

HO-HO-HO mutha****aaaasss and mutha****ettes! I hope yall enjoyed those extra helpings of Christmas cookies because you’re gonna need the extra carbs

It’s fuuuggggginnnnn BENCH DAYYYYY!!!!!

View attachment 315360

View attachment 315361

It’s been a long month to be a Canes fan. Up 21-0 against Syracuse and life was good…

And then…

View attachment 315362

We’ve spent the last month *****ing and moaning and saying the same things over and over and over again

It’s not wrong

But we are parking that to the side because it’s time to watch Cam Ward and this offense one last time

View attachment 315363

Before we get in to Iowa State let’s look back at some of the highlights from 2024 because there were a lot of them:

1. Florida

It was right about here when the entire fanbase held their breath

View attachment 315364

and right about here when all the lies became possible

View attachment 315365

2. Virginia Tech

View attachment 315366

3. Cal

About 2 AM when somehow he got this ball to Arroyo

View attachment 315369

The 2024 season was probably the biggest roller coaster of emotions I can recall

Every week we wanted to make life difficult but in the end we still had a shot to make the ACCCG and the Playoffs but alas…

Bryan Cranston Reaction GIF


“This game is meaningless”

I’ve read this from our so-called fans over and over again

There’s nothing “meaningless” about this game

1-11 in our last 12 bowl games

Left out of the playoff because we are not a top tier program in a conference that gets no respect

EVERY game is important especially when we go out of conference

So for all the people saying those words

View attachment 315370

So let’s ******* go

One more opponent on our schedule and it’s not Penn St, Notre Dame, OSU etc

It’s…Iowa State

View attachment 315371

View attachment 315372

Iowa State nestles itself in the metropolitan area of Ames, IA

The university acceptance rate is… 92%

92. ****. Percent.

View attachment 315373

The only thing you can really say about Iowa that’s cool is at least Kevin Costner got to have a catch with his dad

View attachment 315374

As far as the team goes, we know they have a good coach in Matt Campbell. He’s 10x the coach ours is so that’s a problem. They’ve got a solid QB and WR but it’s a bowl game and who knows who’s playing and who isn’t

So let’s try and guess who will be the difference in this one:

1. Cam

Miami Fans: “you changed my life”

Cam: “I’m literally just Cam Ward”

The single most important player I’ve personally ever seen here. Not only changed the game with his talent, but changed the offense with his leadership. He deserved a legit shot at the playoffs and the Heisman. I got to see Tiger Woods in his prime. Michael Jordan. Jenna Jameson. Now Cam.

2. Martinez. Thankfully we got past the point where our fans claimed he had no vision. Dude was RB1 by a country mile. Not sure what his plan is for next year but I would guess the pros and he’s gonna be tough to replace. Iowa is used to having its corn plowed by John Deere, now it’s Damien’s turn (no pause)

3. Dawson. He doesn’t get enough credit IMO. He took the worst offense in our history in 2022 and made it legit in 2023 despite the same cast of characters. In 2024 we gave him weapons and he orchestrated history. Steven Spielberg. Francis Ford Coppola. Alfred Hitchcock. Axel Braun. Great directors know what to do with great talent. He will be running auditions for 2025 and likely angling for a nice head coaching job himself

Beyond that…**** if I know

Verdict: Miami is the most one dimensional team in the entire country. Thankfully that one dimension is the best in the nation. Unfortunately the other dimension is one of the worst

Actual visual representation of our offense/defense:

View attachment 315378

Matt Campbell has gotta be hornier to face Guidry than an Iowa farm hand looking at a sheep with a bum leg

I expect our offense to be tuff and fizical and grind the game out squeaking by

Lets Ride GIF by Giphy QA


View attachment 315379
View attachment 315380
View attachment 315381

Good guys 27
Bad guys 24

View attachment 315382
Click to expand...
 
BigDikDaddyFromCincinnati said:
Clearly I'm lost. Did my wife hack your account?

I'm in the vast minority of folks who aren't all that psyched to see us play in one of the undercard bowl games. If that makes me butthurt, guilty as charged. It doesn't make me an anti-Cane, anti-fan, Cane-hater, a bad guy, etc. And no, I'm not saying you called me those things, but some others have insinuated as much. It's an opinion.

And for the record, I love beef. It's probably my favorite food group. I made a prime rib on my smoker for Christmas that was dank AF. If you weren't so mean to me, I'd probably invite you over the nuext time I make one, but now you're telling me beef doesn't exist? F this. What is there to live for?
Click to expand...
Oh so now the guy talking about giving Cam truth serum so he will agree with his pussified take is now giving me psycho analysis

Bro let me cut the rope you’ve been hanging yourself with this entire thread

Keep editing your **** I’ll be here when you’re done flailing
 
hoops156 said:
great post. i think it all depends on how long the starters play for both teams. if we pull the draft guys out after a few plays or a quarter but ISU keeps their guys in, we likely lose. either way, 11 wins or not, i dont put any sort of significance into these non playoff bowls. theyre all a waste of time. this year, overall, was fun, however, ended poorly thanks to a historically poor defense. thank you cam for everything. stay healthy and go number 1 and put QB U back where it belongs.
Click to expand...
Yeah I had to go with a tight score because with Mario we can’t trust a **** thing

No clue who is playing, how long etc

Campbell is a good coach which always concerns me but I tend to think Mario goes for the win here

Still will be a tough game I think
 
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BigDikDaddyFromCincinnati said:
@JHallCanes

With all due respect....
This bowl game, which features a trophy on par with the Leg Lamp from A Christmas Story, is indeed meaningless. However, for those Wordsmiths out there who want to get literal, I'll accept irrelevant, boring, unexciting, silly, mediocre or any other word that accurately applies to a game that doesn't count toward redshirt. Yes you can say the same redshirt thing about the playoffs, but c'mon. Barring an OBJ level catch or a Mike Barrow vs Tamarick Vanover hit, no one will remember this game in 10 years.

Given the fact that we were 10-0 and on the inside track to play in both the ACCCG and make the playoffs, you'll have to pardon my nausea that Das PoöpTart Bowl has given me. I literally feel like I had the Prom Queen lined up for a night of Viagara induced spelunking only to be stood up at the last second and handed her red headed after I've ingested that glorious little blue pill. I mean, Imma fucc, but it ain't the same. Not even close. Not even with those translucent areolae that only a red head has. For the record, I'm talking Kathy Griffin redhead, not Nicole Kidman (although I don't really find her attractive either - and I'll sadly take the kill shots for that comment, but the truth is the truth). To bring it full circle, I feel like Ralphie would've, had he NOT gotten the Red Ryder BB gun with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time.

Merry Christmas ya filthy animals.
Go Canes!
Click to expand...
Trump Words GIF by MOODMAN

....🤪🤪🤪
 
JHallCanes said:
View attachment 315358

HO-HO-HO mutha****aaaasss and mutha****ettes! I hope yall enjoyed those extra helpings of Christmas cookies because you’re gonna need the extra carbs

It’s fuuuggggginnnnn BENCH DAYYYYY!!!!!

View attachment 315360

View attachment 315361

It’s been a long month to be a Canes fan. Up 21-0 against Syracuse and life was good…

And then…

View attachment 315362

We’ve spent the last month *****ing and moaning and saying the same things over and over and over again

It’s not wrong

But we are parking that to the side because it’s time to watch Cam Ward and this offense one last time

View attachment 315363

Before we get in to Iowa State let’s look back at some of the highlights from 2024 because there were a lot of them:

1. Florida

It was right about here when the entire fanbase held their breath

View attachment 315364

and right about here when all the lies became possible

View attachment 315365

2. Virginia Tech

View attachment 315366

3. Cal

About 2 AM when somehow he got this ball to Arroyo

View attachment 315369

The 2024 season was probably the biggest roller coaster of emotions I can recall

Every week we wanted to make life difficult but in the end we still had a shot to make the ACCCG and the Playoffs but alas…

Bryan Cranston Reaction GIF


“This game is meaningless”

I’ve read this from our so-called fans over and over again

There’s nothing “meaningless” about this game

1-11 in our last 12 bowl games

Left out of the playoff because we are not a top tier program in a conference that gets no respect

EVERY game is important especially when we go out of conference

So for all the people saying those words

View attachment 315370

So let’s ******* go

One more opponent on our schedule and it’s not Penn St, Notre Dame, OSU etc

It’s…Iowa State

View attachment 315371

View attachment 315372

Iowa State nestles itself in the metropolitan area of Ames, IA

The university acceptance rate is… 92%

92. ****. Percent.

View attachment 315373

The only thing you can really say about Iowa that’s cool is at least Kevin Costner got to have a catch with his dad

View attachment 315374

As far as the team goes, we know they have a good coach in Matt Campbell. He’s 10x the coach ours is so that’s a problem. They’ve got a solid QB and WR but it’s a bowl game and who knows who’s playing and who isn’t

So let’s try and guess who will be the difference in this one:

1. Cam

Miami Fans: “you changed my life”

Cam: “I’m literally just Cam Ward”

The single most important player I’ve personally ever seen here. Not only changed the game with his talent, but changed the offense with his leadership. He deserved a legit shot at the playoffs and the Heisman. I got to see Tiger Woods in his prime. Michael Jordan. Jenna Jameson. Now Cam.

2. Martinez. Thankfully we got past the point where our fans claimed he had no vision. Dude was RB1 by a country mile. Not sure what his plan is for next year but I would guess the pros and he’s gonna be tough to replace. Iowa is used to having its corn plowed by John Deere, now it’s Damien’s turn (no pause)

3. Dawson. He doesn’t get enough credit IMO. He took the worst offense in our history in 2022 and made it legit in 2023 despite the same cast of characters. In 2024 we gave him weapons and he orchestrated history. Steven Spielberg. Francis Ford Coppola. Alfred Hitchcock. Axel Braun. Great directors know what to do with great talent. He will be running auditions for 2025 and likely angling for a nice head coaching job himself

Beyond that…**** if I know

Verdict: Miami is the most one dimensional team in the entire country. Thankfully that one dimension is the best in the nation. Unfortunately the other dimension is one of the worst

Actual visual representation of our offense/defense:

View attachment 315378

Matt Campbell has gotta be hornier to face Guidry than an Iowa farm hand looking at a sheep with a bum leg

I expect our offense to be tuff and fizical and grind the game out squeaking by

Lets Ride GIF by Giphy QA


View attachment 315379
View attachment 315380
View attachment 315381

Good guys 27
Bad guys 24

View attachment 315382
Click to expand...
Literally came for the **** and coke.

you dont disappoint

 
JHallCanes said:
Yeah I had to go with a tight score because with Mario we can’t trust a **** thing

No clue who is playing, how long etc

Campbell is a good coach which always concerns me but I tend to think Mario goes for the win here

Still will be a tough game I think
Click to expand...
we always seem to get out coached, but normally can out talent teams.
 
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