Thoughts From the Bench Press: FSU

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"Not since Jared Fogle has there been a more awkward dude around teenagers than Mike Norvell"


I've been laughing at this **** for 15 ******* mins now lmfao
 
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That’s right Irvings and Irvingettes, it’s that time of the week again! Its muthafuggggginnnn BENCH DAY!!!!!

Bah gawd let’s channel that energy, pour it into a syringe, and stick that thing like Michael Barrow letting loose on Tamarick Vanover because THIS is our chance to exorcise more demons than Father Merrin

Its FSU week baby

****. ****. Up.

Full transparency I like to joke around and make people laugh with these….but I’m having a hard time with this one. This isn’t time to joke around. It’s business time. It’s time to absolutely bury these ****ers and stake our claim on the state of Florida on our way to the Playoffs

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Theres no reason to even talk about anything else. No season recap or review of the past. Forget Cal. VT. Louisville. None of it matters. Miami is currently 7-0 and FSU is 1-6. We’ve debated the how’s and why’s long enough.

Its Hit em Up time

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**** FSU
**** anyone that “respects” FSU
**** Lamar Thomas for suggesting that’s ok
**** the people that want them to be good
**** DJ Ukelelees dad
**** Florida State as a program and a “brand”

FSU is a wounded animal and it’s time to put them down. Not out of mercy, but out of spite

Every time our little brothers copy our style we just laugh at them

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Seriously…

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You think Mario loses to this guy? Dude is cornier than a Black Friday morning ****

We **** near beat their “historic” team with a one armed freshman QB and a backup that could play a bit role in the remake for One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest

When Florida State gets on that bus to make its way to Hard Rock the driver should just play Phil Collins the entire time

They know it’s coming

There’s nothing they can do about it

They are standing on the tracks and the mother****ing train is coming through


THIS is why we pour dirt on FSUs grave Saturday night:

Cam: If he stays healthy he will win the Heisman Trophy. Book it. Remember when FSU fans said they wanted DJU instead of Cam? I’m sure he does too. He’s going to carve up FSU with more style than Michael Meyers, Jason, and Freddy combined. It’s Halloween weekend and FSU should be terrified. Prime time game against our bitter rival with the Heisman push on the line? Yeah…

X: This is his final game against Florida St. He has a chance to be part of the only team in Miami history to beat UiF, FSU, AND South Florida in the same season. He’s been one of the greatest ambassadors in the history of this program, and he will not be denied in this one. Much like Sasha Gray, X will walk out on top

Bain: Not since Jared Fogle has there been a more awkward dude around teenagers than Mike Norvell. Bain took the bag and threw up the deuces. The defense needs to step up in this one, and Bain is the leader. The great ones at Miami have always produced big in this series and this is his time

Cam McCormick: Cam is the Paul Blake of real college football. All jokes aside his story is quite the inspiration and this is his last home game against our biggest rivals. I expect Dawson to draw up something specifically for Cam to give him a moment in the sun and rub a little more **** on FSU the way we did against UiF


Verdict:

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Its not a rivalry game. It’s a mismatch. It’s one team that doesn’t belong on the field with another.

FSUs only gameplan in this one is to try and get us out of our gameplan. They have no answer for our offense. They have no real threats to our defense.

Florida St is the American soldier in Saving Private Ryan begging for mercy and Miami is the enemy

“Sshhh. Sshhh. Ssshhh.”

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Good Guys 48
Bad Guys 13

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Can’t do it any better than this



Pause


UM 63
FSU 16
 
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