Coaching Funny Quotes from your Coaches

[Home Slice]

Yelling at the WRs, 'He can't throw it and catch it! Utterly ridiculous!'

Coach to receivers who dropped a pass: "You have hands like ping pong paddles" or, "He hit you (referring to the football) in a bad place. Your hands."

 

[WestGA'Cane]

"Get the lead out of your ***"

"You're soft as duck ****"

"a bunch of pansies"

Addressing the team as "ladies" or "girls"

Candy asses, pussies, go home and cry to your mama..

 

[pbcup]

7th grade basketball coach: do you know what this is ( hands in the shape of a ******) it’s a *****! that’s what you’re all playing like

High school coach: you’re the dumbest smart kid I ever coached

 

[OriginalCanesCanesCanes]

John McKay head coach of the Tampa Bay Bucs:

“What do you think of your team's execution, coach?” asked a reporter.

McKay replied, “I'm in favor of it.”

 

[Fatboycane]

Coached 10 years for Corky Rogers in Jacksonville. To qb’s who held the ball too long: “if you hold it any longer, it’ll hatch”. To wr’s who had one go right through their hands and bounce off their chest, “glad it wasn’t a spear”

 

[rubycane]

Got to get that Pay Dirt!!

 

[UnForgiven]

Can I get a general shoutout to the term “playing grabass”, a term reserved for football coaches and gym teachers? I’ve always wondered how you play that. Do you run around in a circle grabbing the guy in front of you’s ***?

One of my favorite expressions and one I try to use as often as possible.

 

[Mikeiavelli]

Let them eat, they gotta eat too. You ate, so why can't they eat?!

-My Drill Instructor referring to the fly on my nose

Your momma must have fallen down the stairs when she was pregnant. Now get down and push Kentucky!

 

[Coach Macho]

I really need to step up my quotable game.

 

[Angry Ibis]

Never let a girl tie you up or use handcuffs…

Never let a girl take pictures…

Don’t put your **** in crazy

 

[954/512Cane]

"You see that guy. You cover him. If he goes and takes a ****, you hand him the toilet paper."

 

[MedleyCane]

Coach to player who just hurt his knee (back in the day):
"Walk it off....don't favor it..."

 

[MedleyCane]

After admittedly making a poor attempt at blocking someone, my coach called me an "abortion"....lol

 

[TakeitinDiaz]

Coach to player who just hurt his knee (back in the day):
"Walk it off....don't favor it..."

Rub some dirt on it, my man

 

[skillydoo]

“Fair is where you ride the rides and see the freaks.”

 

[AlphaMarshan]

Had a LB coach in high school who played for Bear Bryant in college, screamed at us:

"NOBODY better cut across your area UNMOLESTED!"

 

[insaneinthecane]

“He who hesitates is lost and guys who are lost belong on a ***ing soccer field with the rest of the hesitating puzzies”

Coach Rose

 

[CANEMC]

I really need to step up my quotable game.

Just steal some of these bro.

 

[tsimonitis]

Knock him onto ***** street

 

[Themadcane]

You guys are colder than a witch’s *** in a brass bar- get the **** out there and start hitting some shots. Bball coach obviously.