***Breaking News 5 Star Leonard Taylor Commits***

[Squid Bumciorek]

Leonard Taylor has already broken every one of Dan Sileos records before even stepping foot on campus. He also has a better radio show than Dan, without even having a radio show. He’s the new Bill Brasky.

Leonard Taylor once heard that Dan Sileo was getting a radio show. Taylor got angry that the station didnt come to him first and said that he'll teach them a lesson. He got two tin cans and tied a string between them. He put one can next to the stations radio antenna and burped in the other. That burp ended up being the highest rated radio program of 2019.

To Leonard Taylor!

 

[The Franchise]

Leonard Taylor has already broken every one of Dan Sileos records before even stepping foot on campus. He also has a better radio show than Dan, without even having a radio show. He’s the new Bill Brasky.

And Leonard's vast library of self-laudatory newspaper clippings from 1983 are still crispy white, not dingy yellow.

 

[The Franchise]

Leonard's hair is perfect

This is actually true.

 

[Udynasty]

Leonard Taylor once heard that Dan Sileo was getting a radio show. Taylor got angry that the station didnt come to him first and said that he'll teach them a lesson. He got two tin cans and tied a string between them. He put one can next to the stations radio antenna and burped in the other. That burp ended up being the highest rated radio program of 2019.

To Leonard Taylor!

Leonard taylor discovered the unifying "theory of everything" that makes sense of our physics

 

[CaneLife93]

Leonard Taylor named himself

 

[Udynasty]

This is actually true.

Everything that has been said about Leonard here is true, friend.

 

[TC@ne]

Quite often I see Taylor picking up the droppings of seeing eye dogs so their owners dont have to struggle with the chore

Holy ****, I never thought about that

 

[TheOriginalCane]

And Leonard's vast library of self-laudatory newspaper clippings from 1983 are still crispy white, not dingy yellow.

Leonard never brags, he let's the rest of us do it for him.

Jimmy Johnson once said that Leonard Taylor was the best defensive lineman he ever saw.

Leonard Taylor has already bench-pressed 406 pounds. He followed that up by bench-pressing 536 pounds and squatting 701 pounds.

The NFL has already held a supplemental draft in which the Buccaneers selected Leonard in the first, second, and third rounds.

 

[Midlo Cane Fan]

On the day he was born
The nurses all gathered 'round
And they gazed in wide wonder
At the joy they had found
The head nurse spoke up
Said "leave this one alone"
She could tell right away
That he was bad to the bone

 

[Squid Bumciorek]

When Leonard Taylor stares into the abyss, he sees Leonard Taylor staring back at him.

 

[Udynasty]

Leonard Taylor is Darth Vader's father

 

[423Hurricane]

Leonard Taylor read all the platitudes written by us in this thread and it reaffirmed his commitment to the “U”,

 

[MadCane19]

Leonard Taylor is Chuck Norris's Father

 

[Cane4L]

Leonard Taylor lost his virginity before his father

 

[OriginalCanesCanesCanes]

When you shave the head of the kid from The Omen, you see a naturally occurring birthmark with the numbers 666.

If you do the same to Leonard Taylor, you see a 305 birthmark.

 

[pacusmc]

Leonard Taylor once ate 3 lbs of asparagus and his girlfriend said it still tasted like honey dipped pineapples.

 

[OriginalCanesCanesCanes]

Leonard Taylor lost his virginity before his father

Leonard Taylor’s magical staff restores the virginity of wayward hoes.

 

[Squid Bumciorek]

The United States invaded Iraq in 2003 because it feared Saddam Hussein was secretly developing Leonard Taylor.

 

[Telituesday]

Leonard Taylor is good at football

 

[canecrazy23]

Leonard Taylor is DJ Dallas's Ace