Bro, to be honest, in the trenches and on the outside, there is literally holding all the time, but when you stay in between the pads and drive, it's often, it ever called....and that's on both sides. But once a defender breaks through w/ a rip move or just flat out beats you, you can continue to try to push him to stop momentum or delay his course, but you can't yank his arm, pull his jersey, hold his arm, drag him down etc.
Like you, I initially missed the Bandy hold, as well, b/c I was so infuriated w/ the missed tackles....but in my mind's eye, I said Bandy had an angle and stopped abruptly. Rewound that joint on the DVR and saw Bandy's arm was literally being used like a tug-o-war rope....RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE REF!
We had so many self-inflicted wounds, and the refs just added salt to it. I've watched that game now 4 times, hoping for a different result b/c of the blown opportunities and miscues that were detrimental.