Thoughts From the Bench Press: South Florida

JHallCanes

2024 is our year
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Joined
Nov 3, 2011
Messages
45,790
Happy Flex Friday my Canes brothers and sisters!

We’ve been reading about USF for weeks as we’ve been enjoying our anabolic oatmeal every morning and now it’s our turn to talk

IMG_7066.gif


It’s time to #fillthosesleeves, fill those vials, grab a straw, and get ready for the next stop on the schedule!

So far so good for the 2024 Miami Hurricanes. After one of the most dominant all around performances in the history of the program, we move on to a tougher stretch of the schedule

Nothing has struck fear on the state of Florida like this since Bath Salts. And much like Bath Salts, if you get in the way, your face is getting eaten

cocaine GIF



Scanning the boards these last few weeks I’d say it’s about 50/50 on those that have accepted reality and those that have not

People are scared to believe

They’re scared to be hurt again

Their posts read like a soft *****

“They played Alabama tough” has been typed almost in a whisper. A floppy whiskey d**k of a rallying cry for those still traumatized

IMG_7011.jpeg


I could continue to ridicule such behavior but like any good spotter, it’s up to us to help

Therefore I am implementing something new

“Sponsor a Testosterone Starved CiS Poster”

This program intended on providing these much needed medications to those without access. Pick a buddy and uplift them.

No longer will we need to read these posts about “trap games” and Moral Victory U playing Alabama tough, or the vaunted Virginia Tech Hokies

IMG_7063.jpeg


IMG_7060.gif


When the Miami Hurricanes descend on the College Football Playoff I want to see Paul Finebaums pen*s head describe our ascent in these words:

IMG_7059.gif


Now that we put the solution in place, let’s talk about what’s on the horizon

Next stop? These guys:

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michael jordan laughing GIF


I’m not gonna spend much time on talking about them. The board has over analyzed it enough

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This is a throwback Miami team that relishes walking into someone else’s barn and beating the ******* brakes off of them. USF has some talent and some skill, but

200.gif


Here’s why we beat the **** out of them in Prime Time:


Cam Ward: like General Sherman marching to the sea, Cam is leading this Miami Hurricane squad through the state of Florida, leaving a wake of destruction behind. If I could channel my inner Trabis Ward I would say….well…you know. He is him and he’s the most important player Miami has had in my fandom

Elijah Arroyo: this mfer splitting seams like Paranos girlfriend. Can’t block for **** but we don’t need him to. His hands are softer than our fans waking up in the middle of the night in the fetal position about Cal

Simeon Barrow: This offseason I thought our fans were putting WAY too much pressure on this dude to be the savior of the DL. He was good at MSU but not a world beater. I could already see our fans trashing him for not being something they created. Fortunately our other DTs have stepped up and this dude is doing his thing. I look for him to be big in this one

Wes: Talk about a glow up. People say you can’t take anything from a Spring Game, and while I agree for the most part, seeing Wes in run support during the SG was the opening. USF has the gimmick but I expect Wes to play like he was shot out of Peter North’s cannon


Verdict:

USF will be rowdy and ready but we are just too talented and too deep on offense to sweat this. With Cam and the receivers not accepting anything less than perfection our offense will carry us

IMG_7065.png


Good guys 41
Bad Guys 17


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On my bad I’m on a 48 hr shift my reading comprehension is fried right now. Let’s **** pump these ***gots in Tampa.

The paranos kink shame sends me everytime lmaoo
Yeah with Barrow I saw some fans getting a little too invested in him being a DL savior. But with guys like Moten, Horton, Mesidor stepping up inside it’s taken some pressure off of him and I think it’s letting him just be what he is. A **** good part of the puzzle
 
Happy Flex Friday my Canes brothers and sisters!

We’ve been reading about USF for weeks as we’ve been enjoying our anabolic oatmeal every morning and now it’s our turn to talk

View attachment 303931

It’s time to #fillthosesleeves, fill those vials, grab a straw, and get ready for the next stop on the schedule!

So far so good for the 2024 Miami Hurricanes. After one of the most dominant all around performances in the history of the program, we move on to a tougher stretch of the schedule

Nothing has struck fear on the state of Florida like this since Bath Salts. And much like Bath Salts, if you get in the way, your face is getting eaten

cocaine GIF



Scanning the boards these last few weeks I’d say it’s about 50/50 on those that have accepted reality and those that have not

People are scared to believe

They’re scared to be hurt again

Their posts read like a soft *****

“They played Alabama tough” has been typed almost in a whisper. A floppy whiskey d**k of a rallying cry for those still traumatized

View attachment 303909

I could continue to ridicule such behavior but like any good spotter, it’s up to us to help

Therefore I am implementing something new

“Sponsor a Testosterone Starved CiS Poster”

This program intended on providing these much needed medications to those without access. Pick a buddy and uplift them.

No longer will we need to read these posts about “trap games” and Moral Victory U playing Alabama tough, or the vaunted Virginia Tech Hokies

View attachment 303913

View attachment 303908

When the Miami Hurricanes descend on the College Football Playoff I want to see Paul Finebaums pen*s head describe our ascent in these words:

View attachment 303932

Now that we put the solution in place, let’s talk about what’s on the horizon

Next stop? These guys:

View attachment 303907

michael jordan laughing GIF


I’m not gonna spend much time on talking about them. The board has over analyzed it enough


This is a throwback Miami team that relishes walking into someone else’s barn and beating the ******* brakes off of them. USF has some talent and some skill, but

200.gif


Here’s why we beat the **** out of them in Prime Time:


Cam Ward: like General Sherman marching to the sea, Cam is leading this Miami Hurricane squad through the state of Florida, leaving a wake of destruction behind. If I could channel my inner Trabis Ward I would say….well…you know. He is him and he’s the most important player Miami has had in my fandom

Elijah Arroyo: this mfer splitting seams like Paranos girlfriend. Can’t block for **** but we don’t need him to. His hands are softer than our fans waking up in the middle of the night in the fetal position about Cal

Simeon Barrow: This offseason I thought our fans were putting WAY too much pressure on this dude to be the savior of the DL. He was good at MSU but not a world beater. I could already see our fans trashing him for not being something they created. Fortunately our other DTs have stepped up and this dude is doing his thing. I look for him to be big in this one

Wes: Talk about a glow up. People say you can’t take anything from a Spring Game, and while I agree for the most part, seeing Wes in run support during the SG was the opening. USF has the gimmick but I expect Wes to play like he was shot out of Peter North’s cannon


Verdict:

USF will be rowdy and ready but we are just too talented and too deep on offense to sweat this. With Cam and the receivers not accepting anything less than perfection our offense will carry us

View attachment 303924

Good guys 41
Bad Guys 17


View attachment 303930

One of the rare times I actually laugh out laugh reading message boards:

----

Their posts read like a soft *****

“They played Alabama tough” has been typed almost in a whisper. A floppy whiskey d**k of a rallying cry for those still traumatized
 
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