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Thoughts From the Bench Press: Louisville

JHallCanes said:
Before we begin homies and homettes let’s pour out a little protein shake for our soldier that ain’t here

*pours

RIP Emory’s left arm. Till we meet again on the other side playa

Now let’s get down to business

As I’m standing here in the mirror admiring this upper chest vein full of Blackmarket Chinese Bullshark Testosterone courtesy of another bench day, I can’t help but have deja vu when it comes to the Miami Hurricanes. If I could sum up this season I would have to say

Here We Go Again GIF


Once again, like a wet protein fart in the middle of a squat PR, the Miami Hurricanes have managed to ruin their season in spectacular fashion. You name the **** up and we’ve done it. We’ve invented ways to **** up

But last week during our loss to FSU we all got to see just how tuff and fizical this team actually is. We lack talent and lord knows our coaching is suspect, but these dudes won’t lay down for anyone

View attachment 266533

Louisville

Or as the locals pronounce it:

“gargling ******* sounds”

Seriously. You ever hear one of these hick ***** have the audacity to correct someone that pronounces it like a person that has actually graduated 4th grade?

Somehow they’ve been able to take time away from ******* their pet sheep and actually show up to games and watch a “Louisville bro” lead them to a top 10 ranking

Well it’s our last chance to give the college football world a big middle finger, so lets turn the tables on these beastiality loving teeth missing hillbillies and #winoneforthesheep

This is why we send them home limping from a butt slamming without the chew spit lube

Guidry: Seriously. This dude must be sitting in coaches meetings right now feeling like the scientist that tried to teach sign language to gorillas. He’s been a revelation. 4 coordinators hired by Mario and he finally gets one right. He’s adapted. He’s innovated. He’s mixed things up. Opposing QBs are left feeling like the amateur in Gangbang Girls 27. You’re not sure when or where or who, but the ******* is coming. Brohm is a redneck genius but Guidry is like Doc Holliday “redneck ball? That’s just my game”

Kiko: this dude might be my favorite player on the team. He’s Danny Bateman and Alvin Mack rolled up into one. Guidry had him dropping into coverage too much earlier this season, and Kiko just isn’t that type of guy. **** going backwards. Attack. Pressure. He fills the A gap better and more often than Peter North and he will absolutely have more momentum shifting plays again this weekend

Damari Brown: Thank Howard this kid looked legit last week against FSU. Our CBs have been playing above their pay grade imo, but we need a real Alpha back there. I can’t believe him and Davante are brothers. Damari is Tom Cruise hitting the highway with the top down and Davante is Dustin Hoffman barely able to make it down the driveway. The future is bright here

Jacolby George: Once again this kid stepped up in the big game. He wasn’t dominant but he has a knack for the big play and we desperately need someone to inject some life into this offense for this game.

Brashard Smith: our QB has the accuracy of a stormtrooper and the emotional range of a Vulcan. Fact is Miami is horrendous when TVD throws the ball more than 30 times and we HAVE to get the ball to a playmaker in spade. Brashard is too ******* obvious.

Borregales: sadly another year where Miamis most dangerous weapon on offense is our ******* kicker. But Borregales is a special talent. He twirls his leg like a western gunslinger and kicks the ball with confidence and style. I expect a close game and Mario will retreat quicker than NYSOMs boner when he sees a perfect South Florida booty, so I expect Jose to be leaned on here

Verdict:

Listen. This is it. This season has been full of ups and downs but Miami has the chance to get up off the mat one last time and do something great.

We are tired. We’re hurt. We’re worn out. Supporting this team is like being a wife saying “he’s only like this when he drinks” for 20 years

I get it

The ghosts of Teddy Bridgewater and James Burgess aren’t enough to stop this team circling the wagons one last time.

Miami comes out fast, physical, and aggressive. The defense creates some turnovers and we pull off our first win over a top 10 team being unranked for the first time in forever

Good guys 30
Chicken ****ers 20

#winoneforthesheep

View attachment 266538
Click to expand...

Bravo! You had me at:

“This is why we send them home limping from a butt slamming without the chew spit lube”

Then you finished it off with Peter North filling the A gap.

You sir are quickly becoming my lyrical hero dropping bars like that.
 
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JHallCanes said:
Before we begin homies and homettes let’s pour out a little protein shake for our soldier that ain’t here

*pours

RIP Emory’s left arm. Till we meet again on the other side playa

Now let’s get down to business

As I’m standing here in the mirror admiring this upper chest vein full of Blackmarket Chinese Bullshark Testosterone courtesy of another bench day, I can’t help but have deja vu when it comes to the Miami Hurricanes. If I could sum up this season I would have to say

Here We Go Again GIF


Once again, like a wet protein fart in the middle of a squat PR, the Miami Hurricanes have managed to ruin their season in spectacular fashion. You name the **** up and we’ve done it. We’ve invented ways to **** up

But last week during our loss to FSU we all got to see just how tuff and fizical this team actually is. We lack talent and lord knows our coaching is suspect, but these dudes won’t lay down for anyone

View attachment 266533

Louisville

Or as the locals pronounce it:

“gargling ******* sounds”

Seriously. You ever hear one of these hick ***** have the audacity to correct someone that pronounces it like a person that has actually graduated 4th grade?

Somehow they’ve been able to take time away from ******* their pet sheep and actually show up to games and watch a “Louisville bro” lead them to a top 10 ranking

Well it’s our last chance to give the college football world a big middle finger, so lets turn the tables on these beastiality loving teeth missing hillbillies and #winoneforthesheep

This is why we send them home limping from a butt slamming without the chew spit lube

Guidry: Seriously. This dude must be sitting in coaches meetings right now feeling like the scientist that tried to teach sign language to gorillas. He’s been a revelation. 4 coordinators hired by Mario and he finally gets one right. He’s adapted. He’s innovated. He’s mixed things up. Opposing QBs are left feeling like the amateur in Gangbang Girls 27. You’re not sure when or where or who, but the ******* is coming. Brohm is a redneck genius but Guidry is like Doc Holliday “redneck ball? That’s just my game”

Kiko: this dude might be my favorite player on the team. He’s Danny Bateman and Alvin Mack rolled up into one. Guidry had him dropping into coverage too much earlier this season, and Kiko just isn’t that type of guy. **** going backwards. Attack. Pressure. He fills the A gap better and more often than Peter North and he will absolutely have more momentum shifting plays again this weekend

Damari Brown: Thank Howard this kid looked legit last week against FSU. Our CBs have been playing above their pay grade imo, but we need a real Alpha back there. I can’t believe him and Davante are brothers. Damari is Tom Cruise hitting the highway with the top down and Davante is Dustin Hoffman barely able to make it down the driveway. The future is bright here

Jacolby George: Once again this kid stepped up in the big game. He wasn’t dominant but he has a knack for the big play and we desperately need someone to inject some life into this offense for this game.

Brashard Smith: our QB has the accuracy of a stormtrooper and the emotional range of a Vulcan. Fact is Miami is horrendous when TVD throws the ball more than 30 times and we HAVE to get the ball to a playmaker in spade. Brashard is too ******* obvious.

Borregales: sadly another year where Miamis most dangerous weapon on offense is our ******* kicker. But Borregales is a special talent. He twirls his leg like a western gunslinger and kicks the ball with confidence and style. I expect a close game and Mario will retreat quicker than NYSOMs boner when he sees a perfect South Florida booty, so I expect Jose to be leaned on here

Verdict:

Listen. This is it. This season has been full of ups and downs but Miami has the chance to get up off the mat one last time and do something great.

We are tired. We’re hurt. We’re worn out. Supporting this team is like being a wife saying “he’s only like this when he drinks” for 20 years

I get it

The ghosts of Teddy Bridgewater and James Burgess aren’t enough to stop this team circling the wagons one last time.

Miami comes out fast, physical, and aggressive. The defense creates some turnovers and we pull off our first win over a top 10 team being unranked for the first time in forever

Good guys 30
Chicken ****ers 20

#winoneforthesheep

View attachment 266538
Click to expand...
Season 3 Episode 21 GIF by Martin
 
JHallCanes said:
Before we begin homies and homettes let’s pour out a little protein shake for our soldier that ain’t here

*pours

RIP Emory’s left arm. Till we meet again on the other side playa

Now let’s get down to business

As I’m standing here in the mirror admiring this upper chest vein full of Blackmarket Chinese Bullshark Testosterone courtesy of another bench day, I can’t help but have deja vu when it comes to the Miami Hurricanes. If I could sum up this season I would have to say

Here We Go Again GIF


Once again, like a wet protein fart in the middle of a squat PR, the Miami Hurricanes have managed to ruin their season in spectacular fashion. You name the **** up and we’ve done it. We’ve invented ways to **** up

But last week during our loss to FSU we all got to see just how tuff and fizical this team actually is. We lack talent and lord knows our coaching is suspect, but these dudes won’t lay down for anyone

View attachment 266533

Louisville

Or as the locals pronounce it:

“gargling ******* sounds”

Seriously. You ever hear one of these hick ***** have the audacity to correct someone that pronounces it like a person that has actually graduated 4th grade?

Somehow they’ve been able to take time away from ******* their pet sheep and actually show up to games and watch a “Louisville bro” lead them to a top 10 ranking

Well it’s our last chance to give the college football world a big middle finger, so lets turn the tables on these beastiality loving teeth missing hillbillies and #winoneforthesheep

This is why we send them home limping from a butt slamming without the chew spit lube

Guidry: Seriously. This dude must be sitting in coaches meetings right now feeling like the scientist that tried to teach sign language to gorillas. He’s been a revelation. 4 coordinators hired by Mario and he finally gets one right. He’s adapted. He’s innovated. He’s mixed things up. Opposing QBs are left feeling like the amateur in Gangbang Girls 27. You’re not sure when or where or who, but the ******* is coming. Brohm is a redneck genius but Guidry is like Doc Holliday “redneck ball? That’s just my game”

Kiko: this dude might be my favorite player on the team. He’s Danny Bateman and Alvin Mack rolled up into one. Guidry had him dropping into coverage too much earlier this season, and Kiko just isn’t that type of guy. **** going backwards. Attack. Pressure. He fills the A gap better and more often than Peter North and he will absolutely have more momentum shifting plays again this weekend

Damari Brown: Thank Howard this kid looked legit last week against FSU. Our CBs have been playing above their pay grade imo, but we need a real Alpha back there. I can’t believe him and Davante are brothers. Damari is Tom Cruise hitting the highway with the top down and Davante is Dustin Hoffman barely able to make it down the driveway. The future is bright here

Jacolby George: Once again this kid stepped up in the big game. He wasn’t dominant but he has a knack for the big play and we desperately need someone to inject some life into this offense for this game.

Brashard Smith: our QB has the accuracy of a stormtrooper and the emotional range of a Vulcan. Fact is Miami is horrendous when TVD throws the ball more than 30 times and we HAVE to get the ball to a playmaker in spade. Brashard is too ******* obvious.

Borregales: sadly another year where Miamis most dangerous weapon on offense is our ******* kicker. But Borregales is a special talent. He twirls his leg like a western gunslinger and kicks the ball with confidence and style. I expect a close game and Mario will retreat quicker than NYSOMs boner when he sees a perfect South Florida booty, so I expect Jose to be leaned on here

Verdict:

Listen. This is it. This season has been full of ups and downs but Miami has the chance to get up off the mat one last time and do something great.

We are tired. We’re hurt. We’re worn out. Supporting this team is like being a wife saying “he’s only like this when he drinks” for 20 years

I get it

The ghosts of Teddy Bridgewater and James Burgess aren’t enough to stop this team circling the wagons one last time.

Miami comes out fast, physical, and aggressive. The defense creates some turnovers and we pull off our first win over a top 10 team being unranked for the first time in forever

Good guys 30
Chicken ****ers 20

#winoneforthesheep

View attachment 266538
Click to expand...
1ha.gif
 
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JHallCanes said:
Before we begin homies and homettes let’s pour out a little protein shake for our soldier that ain’t here

*pours

RIP Emory’s left arm. Till we meet again on the other side playa

Now let’s get down to business

As I’m standing here in the mirror admiring this upper chest vein full of Blackmarket Chinese Bullshark Testosterone courtesy of another bench day, I can’t help but have deja vu when it comes to the Miami Hurricanes. If I could sum up this season I would have to say

Here We Go Again GIF


Once again, like a wet protein fart in the middle of a squat PR, the Miami Hurricanes have managed to ruin their season in spectacular fashion. You name the **** up and we’ve done it. We’ve invented ways to **** up

But last week during our loss to FSU we all got to see just how tuff and fizical this team actually is. We lack talent and lord knows our coaching is suspect, but these dudes won’t lay down for anyone

View attachment 266533

Louisville

Or as the locals pronounce it:

“gargling ******* sounds”

Seriously. You ever hear one of these hick ***** have the audacity to correct someone that pronounces it like a person that has actually graduated 4th grade?

Somehow they’ve been able to take time away from ******* their pet sheep and actually show up to games and watch a “Louisville bro” lead them to a top 10 ranking

Well it’s our last chance to give the college football world a big middle finger, so lets turn the tables on these beastiality loving teeth missing hillbillies and #winoneforthesheep

This is why we send them home limping from a butt slamming without the chew spit lube

Guidry: Seriously. This dude must be sitting in coaches meetings right now feeling like the scientist that tried to teach sign language to gorillas. He’s been a revelation. 4 coordinators hired by Mario and he finally gets one right. He’s adapted. He’s innovated. He’s mixed things up. Opposing QBs are left feeling like the amateur in Gangbang Girls 27. You’re not sure when or where or who, but the ******* is coming. Brohm is a redneck genius but Guidry is like Doc Holliday “redneck ball? That’s just my game”

Kiko: this dude might be my favorite player on the team. He’s Danny Bateman and Alvin Mack rolled up into one. Guidry had him dropping into coverage too much earlier this season, and Kiko just isn’t that type of guy. **** going backwards. Attack. Pressure. He fills the A gap better and more often than Peter North and he will absolutely have more momentum shifting plays again this weekend

Damari Brown: Thank Howard this kid looked legit last week against FSU. Our CBs have been playing above their pay grade imo, but we need a real Alpha back there. I can’t believe him and Davante are brothers. Damari is Tom Cruise hitting the highway with the top down and Davante is Dustin Hoffman barely able to make it down the driveway. The future is bright here

Jacolby George: Once again this kid stepped up in the big game. He wasn’t dominant but he has a knack for the big play and we desperately need someone to inject some life into this offense for this game.

Brashard Smith: our QB has the accuracy of a stormtrooper and the emotional range of a Vulcan. Fact is Miami is horrendous when TVD throws the ball more than 30 times and we HAVE to get the ball to a playmaker in spade. Brashard is too ******* obvious.

Borregales: sadly another year where Miamis most dangerous weapon on offense is our ******* kicker. But Borregales is a special talent. He twirls his leg like a western gunslinger and kicks the ball with confidence and style. I expect a close game and Mario will retreat quicker than NYSOMs boner when he sees a perfect South Florida booty, so I expect Jose to be leaned on here

Verdict:

Listen. This is it. This season has been full of ups and downs but Miami has the chance to get up off the mat one last time and do something great.

We are tired. We’re hurt. We’re worn out. Supporting this team is like being a wife saying “he’s only like this when he drinks” for 20 years

I get it

The ghosts of Teddy Bridgewater and James Burgess aren’t enough to stop this team circling the wagons one last time.

Miami comes out fast, physical, and aggressive. The defense creates some turnovers and we pull off our first win over a top 10 team being unranked for the first time in forever

Good guys 30
Chicken ****ers 20

#winoneforthesheep

View attachment 266538
Click to expand...
Did someone say tables?
dudley boyz series GIF
 
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Ironmanfootball said:
This is how weak we all are. Just hoping for an injury against a lesser opponent
Click to expand...

I hope for injuries against every single opponent, and a swift recovery immediately thereafter.

Truly couldn't care less if their entire team comes off the bus gimping with crutches and neck braces.
 
My thoughts from the bench press are I hope the theoretical barbell which is our season could just land on my head already. Having to stomach more trash qb play is becoming unbearable. But OP you're right about the teams resilience and fight. Just find a way to put together a full 60 minute performance and this season very quickly looks more respectable with a 3rd quality win.
 
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Damiencane86 said:
My thoughts from the bench press are I hope the theoretical barbell which is our season could just land on my head already. Having to stomach more trash qb play is becoming unbearable. But OP you're right about the teams resilience and fight. Just find a way to put together a full 60 minute performance and this season very quickly looks more respectable with a 3rd quality win.
Click to expand...
My brother this has gotta be the most maddening team to watch in recent memory for me, and that is saying something

Because we are a good team. The defense is seriously fun to watch. The OL is fun to watch. We’ve got some solid WRs and RBs

But this absolute implosion of the QB position and the offense is just robbing the enjoyment of the rest of the team. Even the special teams is playing solid

For ***** sake all we need is “decent” QB play and we can win this game
 
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JHallCanes said:
Before we begin homies and homettes let’s pour out a little protein shake for our soldier that ain’t here

*pours

RIP Emory’s left arm. Till we meet again on the other side playa

Now let’s get down to business

As I’m standing here in the mirror admiring this upper chest vein full of Blackmarket Chinese Bullshark Testosterone courtesy of another bench day, I can’t help but have deja vu when it comes to the Miami Hurricanes. If I could sum up this season I would have to say

Here We Go Again GIF


Once again, like a wet protein fart in the middle of a squat PR, the Miami Hurricanes have managed to ruin their season in spectacular fashion. You name the **** up and we’ve done it. We’ve invented ways to **** up

But last week during our loss to FSU we all got to see just how tuff and fizical this team actually is. We lack talent and lord knows our coaching is suspect, but these dudes won’t lay down for anyone

View attachment 266533

Louisville

Or as the locals pronounce it:

“gargling ******* sounds”

Seriously. You ever hear one of these hick ***** have the audacity to correct someone that pronounces it like a person that has actually graduated 4th grade?

Somehow they’ve been able to take time away from ******* their pet sheep and actually show up to games and watch a “Louisville bro” lead them to a top 10 ranking

Well it’s our last chance to give the college football world a big middle finger, so lets turn the tables on these beastiality loving teeth missing hillbillies and #winoneforthesheep

This is why we send them home limping from a butt slamming without the chew spit lube

Guidry: Seriously. This dude must be sitting in coaches meetings right now feeling like the scientist that tried to teach sign language to gorillas. He’s been a revelation. 4 coordinators hired by Mario and he finally gets one right. He’s adapted. He’s innovated. He’s mixed things up. Opposing QBs are left feeling like the amateur in Gangbang Girls 27. You’re not sure when or where or who, but the ******* is coming. Brohm is a redneck genius but Guidry is like Doc Holliday “redneck ball? That’s just my game”

Kiko: this dude might be my favorite player on the team. He’s Danny Bateman and Alvin Mack rolled up into one. Guidry had him dropping into coverage too much earlier this season, and Kiko just isn’t that type of guy. **** going backwards. Attack. Pressure. He fills the A gap better and more often than Peter North and he will absolutely have more momentum shifting plays again this weekend

Damari Brown: Thank Howard this kid looked legit last week against FSU. Our CBs have been playing above their pay grade imo, but we need a real Alpha back there. I can’t believe him and Davante are brothers. Damari is Tom Cruise hitting the highway with the top down and Davante is Dustin Hoffman barely able to make it down the driveway. The future is bright here

Jacolby George: Once again this kid stepped up in the big game. He wasn’t dominant but he has a knack for the big play and we desperately need someone to inject some life into this offense for this game.

Brashard Smith: our QB has the accuracy of a stormtrooper and the emotional range of a Vulcan. Fact is Miami is horrendous when TVD throws the ball more than 30 times and we HAVE to get the ball to a playmaker in spade. Brashard is too ******* obvious.

Borregales: sadly another year where Miamis most dangerous weapon on offense is our ******* kicker. But Borregales is a special talent. He twirls his leg like a western gunslinger and kicks the ball with confidence and style. I expect a close game and Mario will retreat quicker than NYSOMs boner when he sees a perfect South Florida booty, so I expect Jose to be leaned on here

Verdict:

Listen. This is it. This season has been full of ups and downs but Miami has the chance to get up off the mat one last time and do something great.

We are tired. We’re hurt. We’re worn out. Supporting this team is like being a wife saying “he’s only like this when he drinks” for 20 years

I get it

The ghosts of Teddy Bridgewater and James Burgess aren’t enough to stop this team circling the wagons one last time.

Miami comes out fast, physical, and aggressive. The defense creates some turnovers and we pull off our first win over a top 10 team being unranked for the first time in forever

Good guys 30
Chicken ****ers 20

#winoneforthesheep

View attachment 266538
Click to expand...
Well said as usual
 
JHallCanes said:
Before we begin homies and homettes let’s pour out a little protein shake for our soldier that ain’t here

*pours

RIP Emory’s left arm. Till we meet again on the other side playa

Now let’s get down to business

As I’m standing here in the mirror admiring this upper chest vein full of Blackmarket Chinese Bullshark Testosterone courtesy of another bench day, I can’t help but have deja vu when it comes to the Miami Hurricanes. If I could sum up this season I would have to say

Here We Go Again GIF


Once again, like a wet protein fart in the middle of a squat PR, the Miami Hurricanes have managed to ruin their season in spectacular fashion. You name the **** up and we’ve done it. We’ve invented ways to **** up

But last week during our loss to FSU we all got to see just how tuff and fizical this team actually is. We lack talent and lord knows our coaching is suspect, but these dudes won’t lay down for anyone

View attachment 266533

Louisville

Or as the locals pronounce it:

“gargling ******* sounds”

Seriously. You ever hear one of these hick ***** have the audacity to correct someone that pronounces it like a person that has actually graduated 4th grade?

Somehow they’ve been able to take time away from ******* their pet sheep and actually show up to games and watch a “Louisville bro” lead them to a top 10 ranking

Well it’s our last chance to give the college football world a big middle finger, so lets turn the tables on these beastiality loving teeth missing hillbillies and #winoneforthesheep

This is why we send them home limping from a butt slamming without the chew spit lube

Guidry: Seriously. This dude must be sitting in coaches meetings right now feeling like the scientist that tried to teach sign language to gorillas. He’s been a revelation. 4 coordinators hired by Mario and he finally gets one right. He’s adapted. He’s innovated. He’s mixed things up. Opposing QBs are left feeling like the amateur in Gangbang Girls 27. You’re not sure when or where or who, but the ******* is coming. Brohm is a redneck genius but Guidry is like Doc Holliday “redneck ball? That’s just my game”

Kiko: this dude might be my favorite player on the team. He’s Danny Bateman and Alvin Mack rolled up into one. Guidry had him dropping into coverage too much earlier this season, and Kiko just isn’t that type of guy. **** going backwards. Attack. Pressure. He fills the A gap better and more often than Peter North and he will absolutely have more momentum shifting plays again this weekend

Damari Brown: Thank Howard this kid looked legit last week against FSU. Our CBs have been playing above their pay grade imo, but we need a real Alpha back there. I can’t believe him and Davante are brothers. Damari is Tom Cruise hitting the highway with the top down and Davante is Dustin Hoffman barely able to make it down the driveway. The future is bright here

Jacolby George: Once again this kid stepped up in the big game. He wasn’t dominant but he has a knack for the big play and we desperately need someone to inject some life into this offense for this game.

Brashard Smith: our QB has the accuracy of a stormtrooper and the emotional range of a Vulcan. Fact is Miami is horrendous when TVD throws the ball more than 30 times and we HAVE to get the ball to a playmaker in spade. Brashard is too ******* obvious.

Borregales: sadly another year where Miamis most dangerous weapon on offense is our ******* kicker. But Borregales is a special talent. He twirls his leg like a western gunslinger and kicks the ball with confidence and style. I expect a close game and Mario will retreat quicker than NYSOMs boner when he sees a perfect South Florida booty, so I expect Jose to be leaned on here

Verdict:

Listen. This is it. This season has been full of ups and downs but Miami has the chance to get up off the mat one last time and do something great.

We are tired. We’re hurt. We’re worn out. Supporting this team is like being a wife saying “he’s only like this when he drinks” for 20 years

I get it

The ghosts of Teddy Bridgewater and James Burgess aren’t enough to stop this team circling the wagons one last time.

Miami comes out fast, physical, and aggressive. The defense creates some turnovers and we pull off our first win over a top 10 team being unranked for the first time in forever

Good guys 30
Chicken ****ers 20

#winoneforthesheep

View attachment 266538
Click to expand...

Bro. This was gold. I feel better knowing Im not the only one that let one slip out during a squat. Kudos to you on the Peter North reference.

You had me all the way up till the prediction. These guys aint scored 30 since NC. My heart says Im with you. My brain says I think you need a spotter if you think we are scoring 30.

1700324517158.gif
 
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