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Thoughts From the Bench Press: Louisville

JHallCanes said:
Before we begin homies and homettes let’s pour out a little protein shake for our soldier that ain’t here

*pours

RIP Emory’s left arm. Till we meet again on the other side playa

Now let’s get down to business

As I’m standing here in the mirror admiring this upper chest vein full of Blackmarket Chinese Bullshark Testosterone courtesy of another bench day, I can’t help but have deja vu when it comes to the Miami Hurricanes. If I could sum up this season I would have to say

Here We Go Again GIF


Once again, like a wet protein fart in the middle of a squat PR, the Miami Hurricanes have managed to ruin their season in spectacular fashion. You name the **** up and we’ve done it. We’ve invented ways to **** up

But last week during our loss to FSU we all got to see just how tuff and fizical this team actually is. We lack talent and lord knows our coaching is suspect, but these dudes won’t lay down for anyone

View attachment 266533

Louisville

Or as the locals pronounce it:

“gargling ******* sounds”

Seriously. You ever hear one of these hick ***** have the audacity to correct someone that pronounces it like a person that has actually graduated 4th grade?

Somehow they’ve been able to take time away from ******* their pet sheep and actually show up to games and watch a “Louisville bro” lead them to a top 10 ranking

Well it’s our last chance to give the college football world a big middle finger, so lets turn the tables on these beastiality loving teeth missing hillbillies and #winoneforthesheep

This is why we send them home limping from a butt slamming without the chew spit lube

Guidry: Seriously. This dude must be sitting in coaches meetings right now feeling like the scientist that tried to teach sign language to gorillas. He’s been a revelation. 4 coordinators hired by Mario and he finally gets one right. He’s adapted. He’s innovated. He’s mixed things up. Opposing QBs are left feeling like the amateur in Gangbang Girls 27. You’re not sure when or where or who, but the ******* is coming. Brohm is a redneck genius but Guidry is like Doc Holliday “redneck ball? That’s just my game”

Kiko: this dude might be my favorite player on the team. He’s Danny Bateman and Alvin Mack rolled up into one. Guidry had him dropping into coverage too much earlier this season, and Kiko just isn’t that type of guy. **** going backwards. Attack. Pressure. He fills the A gap better and more often than Peter North and he will absolutely have more momentum shifting plays again this weekend

Damari Brown: Thank Howard this kid looked legit last week against FSU. Our CBs have been playing above their pay grade imo, but we need a real Alpha back there. I can’t believe him and Davante are brothers. Damari is Tom Cruise hitting the highway with the top down and Davante is Dustin Hoffman barely able to make it down the driveway. The future is bright here

Jacolby George: Once again this kid stepped up in the big game. He wasn’t dominant but he has a knack for the big play and we desperately need someone to inject some life into this offense for this game.

Brashard Smith: our QB has the accuracy of a stormtrooper and the emotional range of a Vulcan. Fact is Miami is horrendous when TVD throws the ball more than 30 times and we HAVE to get the ball to a playmaker in spade. Brashard is too ******* obvious.

Borregales: sadly another year where Miamis most dangerous weapon on offense is our ******* kicker. But Borregales is a special talent. He twirls his leg like a western gunslinger and kicks the ball with confidence and style. I expect a close game and Mario will retreat quicker than NYSOMs boner when he sees a perfect South Florida booty, so I expect Jose to be leaned on here

Verdict:

Listen. This is it. This season has been full of ups and downs but Miami has the chance to get up off the mat one last time and do something great.

We are tired. We’re hurt. We’re worn out. Supporting this team is like being a wife saying “he’s only like this when he drinks” for 20 years

I get it

The ghosts of Teddy Bridgewater and James Burgess aren’t enough to stop this team circling the wagons one last time.

Miami comes out fast, physical, and aggressive. The defense creates some turnovers and we pull off our first win over a top 10 team being unranked for the first time in forever

Good guys 30
Chicken ****ers 20

#winoneforthesheep

View attachment 266538
Click to expand...
Rain Man GIF by Filmin


Tom Cruise GIF
 
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WeBallinBoyz said:
Yes, but I think people are writing off their offense vs. our defense a bit prematurely.

I think Jawar Jordan is a very physical back. We were awesome against FSU’s running attack, but Jordan is more punishing than Benson. We’re going to have to hold up all four quarters against him.

Our corners were awesome against Coleman and Wilson, but Thrash is a baller. We’re going to have to shut him down and make someone else beat us. Plummer is prone to mistakes, and I do trust Guidry to confuse him into some mistakes…but we have to come prepared.

If we play like we did against FSU, we’ll win. If we play like we did against GT, Clemson, NC State and UVA, we’ll lose by double digits.

After an emotionally draining loss and yet another QB change, which Miami do we get tomorrow? Heart says the FSU one, head says the other three.

A fast start is imperative, or I fear the defense will wilt unlike against FSU. We’re also going to need some sort of passing attack, as Louisville is Top 10 against the run and 2nd in red zone defense.
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IMG_5002.gif
 
JHallCanes said:
Before we begin homies and homettes let’s pour out a little protein shake for our soldier that ain’t here

*pours

RIP Emory’s left arm. Till we meet again on the other side playa

Now let’s get down to business

As I’m standing here in the mirror admiring this upper chest vein full of Blackmarket Chinese Bullshark Testosterone courtesy of another bench day, I can’t help but have deja vu when it comes to the Miami Hurricanes. If I could sum up this season I would have to say

Here We Go Again GIF


Once again, like a wet protein fart in the middle of a squat PR, the Miami Hurricanes have managed to ruin their season in spectacular fashion. You name the **** up and we’ve done it. We’ve invented ways to **** up

But last week during our loss to FSU we all got to see just how tuff and fizical this team actually is. We lack talent and lord knows our coaching is suspect, but these dudes won’t lay down for anyone

View attachment 266533

Louisville

Or as the locals pronounce it:

“gargling ******* sounds”

Seriously. You ever hear one of these hick ***** have the audacity to correct someone that pronounces it like a person that has actually graduated 4th grade?

Somehow they’ve been able to take time away from ******* their pet sheep and actually show up to games and watch a “Louisville bro” lead them to a top 10 ranking

Well it’s our last chance to give the college football world a big middle finger, so lets turn the tables on these beastiality loving teeth missing hillbillies and #winoneforthesheep

This is why we send them home limping from a butt slamming without the chew spit lube

Guidry: Seriously. This dude must be sitting in coaches meetings right now feeling like the scientist that tried to teach sign language to gorillas. He’s been a revelation. 4 coordinators hired by Mario and he finally gets one right. He’s adapted. He’s innovated. He’s mixed things up. Opposing QBs are left feeling like the amateur in Gangbang Girls 27. You’re not sure when or where or who, but the ******* is coming. Brohm is a redneck genius but Guidry is like Doc Holliday “redneck ball? That’s just my game”

Kiko: this dude might be my favorite player on the team. He’s Danny Bateman and Alvin Mack rolled up into one. Guidry had him dropping into coverage too much earlier this season, and Kiko just isn’t that type of guy. **** going backwards. Attack. Pressure. He fills the A gap better and more often than Peter North and he will absolutely have more momentum shifting plays again this weekend

Damari Brown: Thank Howard this kid looked legit last week against FSU. Our CBs have been playing above their pay grade imo, but we need a real Alpha back there. I can’t believe him and Davante are brothers. Damari is Tom Cruise hitting the highway with the top down and Davante is Dustin Hoffman barely able to make it down the driveway. The future is bright here

Jacolby George: Once again this kid stepped up in the big game. He wasn’t dominant but he has a knack for the big play and we desperately need someone to inject some life into this offense for this game.

Brashard Smith: our QB has the accuracy of a stormtrooper and the emotional range of a Vulcan. Fact is Miami is horrendous when TVD throws the ball more than 30 times and we HAVE to get the ball to a playmaker in spade. Brashard is too ******* obvious.

Borregales: sadly another year where Miamis most dangerous weapon on offense is our ******* kicker. But Borregales is a special talent. He twirls his leg like a western gunslinger and kicks the ball with confidence and style. I expect a close game and Mario will retreat quicker than NYSOMs boner when he sees a perfect South Florida booty, so I expect Jose to be leaned on here

Verdict:

Listen. This is it. This season has been full of ups and downs but Miami has the chance to get up off the mat one last time and do something great.

We are tired. We’re hurt. We’re worn out. Supporting this team is like being a wife saying “he’s only like this when he drinks” for 20 years

I get it

The ghosts of Teddy Bridgewater and James Burgess aren’t enough to stop this team circling the wagons one last time.

Miami comes out fast, physical, and aggressive. The defense creates some turnovers and we pull off our first win over a top 10 team being unranked for the first time in forever

Good guys 30
Chicken ****ers 20

#winoneforthesheep

View attachment 266538
Click to expand...
Tom Cruise and Dustin Hoffman comparisons 😂🤣😂🤣You 🫵🏾Sir are focking awesome!! 🇺🇸👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾Go Canes!!!!!
 
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Fully expect the best from UL because the ACC is on the line for them. Both of their RBs can house runs on shoulder tackle attempts.

The team that can run the best should win. Both QBs love to help the other team almost equally as bad.

UL-> Better RBs and QB
Miami-> Better everything else
 
Last edited:
JHallCanes said:
Before we begin homies and homettes let’s pour out a little protein shake for our soldier that ain’t here

*pours

RIP Emory’s left arm. Till we meet again on the other side playa

Now let’s get down to business

As I’m standing here in the mirror admiring this upper chest vein full of Blackmarket Chinese Bullshark Testosterone courtesy of another bench day, I can’t help but have deja vu when it comes to the Miami Hurricanes. If I could sum up this season I would have to say

Here We Go Again GIF


Once again, like a wet protein fart in the middle of a squat PR, the Miami Hurricanes have managed to ruin their season in spectacular fashion. You name the **** up and we’ve done it. We’ve invented ways to **** up

But last week during our loss to FSU we all got to see just how tuff and fizical this team actually is. We lack talent and lord knows our coaching is suspect, but these dudes won’t lay down for anyone

View attachment 266533

Louisville

Or as the locals pronounce it:

“gargling ******* sounds”

Seriously. You ever hear one of these hick ***** have the audacity to correct someone that pronounces it like a person that has actually graduated 4th grade?

Somehow they’ve been able to take time away from ******* their pet sheep and actually show up to games and watch a “Louisville bro” lead them to a top 10 ranking

Well it’s our last chance to give the college football world a big middle finger, so lets turn the tables on these beastiality loving teeth missing hillbillies and #winoneforthesheep

This is why we send them home limping from a butt slamming without the chew spit lube

Guidry: Seriously. This dude must be sitting in coaches meetings right now feeling like the scientist that tried to teach sign language to gorillas. He’s been a revelation. 4 coordinators hired by Mario and he finally gets one right. He’s adapted. He’s innovated. He’s mixed things up. Opposing QBs are left feeling like the amateur in Gangbang Girls 27. You’re not sure when or where or who, but the ******* is coming. Brohm is a redneck genius but Guidry is like Doc Holliday “redneck ball? That’s just my game”

Kiko: this dude might be my favorite player on the team. He’s Danny Bateman and Alvin Mack rolled up into one. Guidry had him dropping into coverage too much earlier this season, and Kiko just isn’t that type of guy. **** going backwards. Attack. Pressure. He fills the A gap better and more often than Peter North and he will absolutely have more momentum shifting plays again this weekend

Damari Brown: Thank Howard this kid looked legit last week against FSU. Our CBs have been playing above their pay grade imo, but we need a real Alpha back there. I can’t believe him and Davante are brothers. Damari is Tom Cruise hitting the highway with the top down and Davante is Dustin Hoffman barely able to make it down the driveway. The future is bright here

Jacolby George: Once again this kid stepped up in the big game. He wasn’t dominant but he has a knack for the big play and we desperately need someone to inject some life into this offense for this game.

Brashard Smith: our QB has the accuracy of a stormtrooper and the emotional range of a Vulcan. Fact is Miami is horrendous when TVD throws the ball more than 30 times and we HAVE to get the ball to a playmaker in spade. Brashard is too ******* obvious.

Borregales: sadly another year where Miamis most dangerous weapon on offense is our ******* kicker. But Borregales is a special talent. He twirls his leg like a western gunslinger and kicks the ball with confidence and style. I expect a close game and Mario will retreat quicker than NYSOMs boner when he sees a perfect South Florida booty, so I expect Jose to be leaned on here

Verdict:

Listen. This is it. This season has been full of ups and downs but Miami has the chance to get up off the mat one last time and do something great.

We are tired. We’re hurt. We’re worn out. Supporting this team is like being a wife saying “he’s only like this when he drinks” for 20 years

I get it

The ghosts of Teddy Bridgewater and James Burgess aren’t enough to stop this team circling the wagons one last time.

Miami comes out fast, physical, and aggressive. The defense creates some turnovers and we pull off our first win over a top 10 team being unranked for the first time in forever

Good guys 30
Chicken ****ers 20

#winoneforthesheep

View attachment 266538
Click to expand...
Bruh said accuracy of a storm trooper lol
 
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JHallCanes said:
Before we begin homies and homettes let’s pour out a little protein shake for our soldier that ain’t here

*pours

RIP Emory’s left arm. Till we meet again on the other side playa

Now let’s get down to business

As I’m standing here in the mirror admiring this upper chest vein full of Blackmarket Chinese Bullshark Testosterone courtesy of another bench day, I can’t help but have deja vu when it comes to the Miami Hurricanes. If I could sum up this season I would have to say

Here We Go Again GIF


Once again, like a wet protein fart in the middle of a squat PR, the Miami Hurricanes have managed to ruin their season in spectacular fashion. You name the **** up and we’ve done it. We’ve invented ways to **** up

But last week during our loss to FSU we all got to see just how tuff and fizical this team actually is. We lack talent and lord knows our coaching is suspect, but these dudes won’t lay down for anyone

View attachment 266533

Louisville

Or as the locals pronounce it:

“gargling ******* sounds”

Seriously. You ever hear one of these hick ***** have the audacity to correct someone that pronounces it like a person that has actually graduated 4th grade?

Somehow they’ve been able to take time away from ******* their pet sheep and actually show up to games and watch a “Louisville bro” lead them to a top 10 ranking

Well it’s our last chance to give the college football world a big middle finger, so lets turn the tables on these beastiality loving teeth missing hillbillies and #winoneforthesheep

This is why we send them home limping from a butt slamming without the chew spit lube

Guidry: Seriously. This dude must be sitting in coaches meetings right now feeling like the scientist that tried to teach sign language to gorillas. He’s been a revelation. 4 coordinators hired by Mario and he finally gets one right. He’s adapted. He’s innovated. He’s mixed things up. Opposing QBs are left feeling like the amateur in Gangbang Girls 27. You’re not sure when or where or who, but the ******* is coming. Brohm is a redneck genius but Guidry is like Doc Holliday “redneck ball? That’s just my game”

Kiko: this dude might be my favorite player on the team. He’s Danny Bateman and Alvin Mack rolled up into one. Guidry had him dropping into coverage too much earlier this season, and Kiko just isn’t that type of guy. **** going backwards. Attack. Pressure. He fills the A gap better and more often than Peter North and he will absolutely have more momentum shifting plays again this weekend

Damari Brown: Thank Howard this kid looked legit last week against FSU. Our CBs have been playing above their pay grade imo, but we need a real Alpha back there. I can’t believe him and Davante are brothers. Damari is Tom Cruise hitting the highway with the top down and Davante is Dustin Hoffman barely able to make it down the driveway. The future is bright here

Jacolby George: Once again this kid stepped up in the big game. He wasn’t dominant but he has a knack for the big play and we desperately need someone to inject some life into this offense for this game.

Brashard Smith: our QB has the accuracy of a stormtrooper and the emotional range of a Vulcan. Fact is Miami is horrendous when TVD throws the ball more than 30 times and we HAVE to get the ball to a playmaker in spade. Brashard is too ******* obvious.

Borregales: sadly another year where Miamis most dangerous weapon on offense is our ******* kicker. But Borregales is a special talent. He twirls his leg like a western gunslinger and kicks the ball with confidence and style. I expect a close game and Mario will retreat quicker than NYSOMs boner when he sees a perfect South Florida booty, so I expect Jose to be leaned on here

Verdict:

Listen. This is it. This season has been full of ups and downs but Miami has the chance to get up off the mat one last time and do something great.

We are tired. We’re hurt. We’re worn out. Supporting this team is like being a wife saying “he’s only like this when he drinks” for 20 years

I get it

The ghosts of Teddy Bridgewater and James Burgess aren’t enough to stop this team circling the wagons one last time.

Miami comes out fast, physical, and aggressive. The defense creates some turnovers and we pull off our first win over a top 10 team being unranked for the first time in forever

Good guys 30
Chicken ****ers 20

#winoneforthesheep

View attachment 266538
Click to expand...
Chinese bull shark tesi, awesome!! Another brilliant write up
 
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Please baby Jesus let us for once this year come out with some **** & vinegar and play a complete game...please...we all know the one thing we need to beat them...let us pray.
 
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