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Not a fan of Mario Cristobal but a funny story...

darius19

darius19

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I was reading this thread on Reddit college football (https://www.reddit.com/r/CFB/comments/48tesb/what_is_a_funny_story_you_heard_from_a_friend/) and came across this story

"I got this story from a Fox anchor and U Miami alum about Mario Cristobal. We were talking about how I thought Cristobal would've been a good hire for the U. A lot of things about Mario that people don't know about that would change peoples mind about him.... He told Urban Meyer once that if he would beat his ******* *** if Meyer ever talked **** about how kids in South Florida get into to much trouble. Also, When he was in Miami for like a month he went to a high school with Al and without saying which High School that coach told them that Jimbo was gonna pass by later to talk to him about some kids. Mario in front of Al told that coach call Jimbo now and tell him today he can't come because we're here, If Jimbo shows up and Im here and ill deal with him because this is my school in dade county and he needs to wait till I'm done. That coach said that Al's jaw dropped.......lmao"

Glad we didn't hire Mario as HC but that sounds like a savage...maybe we can grab him in a recruiter role after Saban gets rid of him
 
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darius19 said:
I was reading this thread on Reddit college football (https://www.reddit.com/r/CFB/comments/48tesb/what_is_a_funny_story_you_heard_from_a_friend/) and came across this story

"I got this story from a Fox anchor and U Miami alum about Mario Cristobal. We were talking about how I thought Cristobal would've been a good hire for the U. A lot of things about Mario that people don't know about that would change peoples mind about him.... He told Urban Meyer once that if he would beat his ****ing *** if Meyer ever talked **** about how kids in South Florida get into to much trouble. Also, When he was in Miami for like a month he went to a high school with Al and without saying which High School that coach told them that Jimbo was gonna pass by later to talk to him about some kids. Mario in front of Al told that coach call Jimbo now and tell him today he can't come because we're here, If Jimbo shows up and Im here and ill deal with him because this is my school in dade county and he needs to wait till I'm done. That coach said that Al's jaw dropped.......lmao"

Glad we didn't hire Mario as HC but that sounds like a savage...maybe we can grab him in a recruiter role after Saban gets rid of him
Click to expand...

Gary Ferman has whack material for at least six months
 
Can anyone name a single person he's recruited of note in the last 5-6 years other than cooper, ridley, hilton?
 
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These are old stories that have been bandied about for years, no doubt adding to the wario's Rushmore-esque reputation
 
^
Heard this before how he supposedly threatened another coach not to come visit a school because he was already there.
 
AUcane said:
These are old stories that have been bandied about for years, no doubt adding to the wario's Rushmore-esque reputation
Click to expand...

Might as well start calling him Beel Brasky.

"Cristobal's a 10-foot tall beast man who showers in vodka and feeds his baby shrimp scampi!"

"Cristobal got his wife pregnant and she gave birth to a delicious 16-ounce steak. The afterbirth was sautéed mushrooms!"

"Did I ever tell you about the time Cristobal showed up at my daughter’s wedding? You know my daughter, she’s a beautiful girl. Well, Cristobal shows up and you know he’s a big fella. Well, he’s standing right between me and my daughter at the ceremony. He’s got no right to be there, but he’s drunk and he’s Cristobal. Well, long story short, the priest accidentally marries me and Cristonal. We spend the weekend in the Poconos — he loved me like I’ve never been loved before."
 
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darius19 said:
I was reading this thread on Reddit college football (https://www.reddit.com/r/CFB/comments/48tesb/what_is_a_funny_story_you_heard_from_a_friend/) and came across this story

"I got this story from a Fox anchor and U Miami alum about Mario Cristobal. We were talking about how I thought Cristobal would've been a good hire for the U. A lot of things about Mario that people don't know about that would change peoples mind about him.... He told Urban Meyer once that if he would beat his ****ing *** if Meyer ever talked **** about how kids in South Florida get into to much trouble. Also, When he was in Miami for like a month he went to a high school with Al and without saying which High School that coach told them that Jimbo was gonna pass by later to talk to him about some kids. Mario in front of Al told that coach call Jimbo now and tell him today he can't come because we're here, If Jimbo shows up and Im here and ill deal with him because this is my school in dade county and he needs to wait till I'm done. That coach said that Al's jaw dropped.......lmao"

Glad we didn't hire Mario as HC but that sounds like a savage...maybe we can grab him in a recruiter role after Saban gets rid of him
Click to expand...

word... Miami to the core.
 
cflacane2 said:
Can anyone name a single person he's recruited of note in the last 5-6 years other than cooper, ridley, hilton?
Click to expand...

Jeudy?

Not fo nothin, but those are some pretty **** decent names right there.

I don't follow kid for kid that he recruits up there, but seems to me with Saban all over the Country...he doesn't expect Mario to pick up 5 kids a year from SF...just target a few and hope to get one of the best.
 
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I bet Luigi tells these stories to anyone that'll listen as he details Saban's car. Lil Nicky is fine with it as long as Cristobal doesn't leave any wax spots and is precise with the Armor All.
 
LOL at the Beanerdict lore. So he was going to beat up two scrawny old men? But didn't. Great stuff. I'm getting very turned on by the machismo.
 
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